Jennifer Lopez, American Idol

FOX

Happy Wednesday! Is it just us or does this week feel really long? We kept thinking it was Friday, and then being highly disappointed to find that it was only Wednesday. Anyway, it was a very American night as we got both Idol and Horror Story returned to us, to mild excitement. Read on to find out what made it into tonight's Rants and Raves.

RAVE: American Idol: The very first audition somehow turned into Harry Connick Jr. doing a Bigfoot impression, and we suddenly remembered that sometimes we love this show. Of course, we then found ourselves hiding our eyes from the girl who didn't know who the judges were and announced she was going to dance to some Britney. Auditions that make you want to die of embarrassment for someone you don't even know? Now that's the American Idol we love.

RANT: American Idol: All that said, that felt sort of lackluster for a season premiere. It had its moments, but for the most part, we were just bored. Shouldn't Nashville have been more exciting than that?

Neil Patrick Harris

YouYube

RANT: American Horror Story: We don't know why we were so excited for Neil Patrick Harris to be on this show. We should have known he would be the one to bring us yet another one of our worst nightmares: living puppets. Obviously, he would have a ventriloquist dummy that controls his life and watches angrily while he has sex with Bette and Dot. And of course he probably murdered his family. Why do we do this to ourselves? We like sleeping!

RAVE: American Horror Story: At least Dell finally got what was coming to him after murdering Ma Petite! Elsa shot him right in the head after Desiree finally got him to confess. Good riddance.

RANT: American Horror Story: Don't you just hate it when you agree to give up one claw hand to be able to afford a lawyer, but you wake up in the hospital having lost both claw hands?

Harry Hamlin, Kelli Giddish, Dreama Walker

Gabriel Olsen/FilmMagic, James Dimmock/NBC, JC Olivera/WireImage

RAVE: Law & Order SVU: Let's take a minute and give Kelli Giddish a round of applause. "Forgiving Rollins" was no easy episode to watch as Law & Order: SVU revealed Rollins' past, but Giddish turned in one heck of a performance. Harry Hamlin, we've never loved to hate you more! We never knew what drove Detective Rollins from Atlanta to New York City, but this episode filled in the missing pieces about her past with her boss and the sexual assault she survived. Where do we go from here? We'll be tuning in to find out.

RAVE: Modern Family: Cam and Phil is a new duo we're not used to seeing, and we couldn't stop laughing at Cam slowly coming to realize that Phil might actually be kind of attractive. "Is Phil sexy?!" was basically the night's best moment.

RAVE: Empire: How much did you love tonight's premiere? Vote in our poll here

What did you watch tonight? Hit up the comments to rant and rave with us!

CLICK: Check out the official ranking of the best and worst new shows of the 2014-15 season now!

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