Warning: plastic kid's toy that looks like a penis ahead. Seriously. It's a penis.
Really? Really?! REALLY?!
No one, not one single person at Hasbro, stopped for one minute to really take a look at this Play-Doh toy and realized that it looks exactly like a penis? No one had a moment of: "Hm, ya know, when I stare at it for longer than half a second, it does kind of resemble the male reproductive organ." How did that happen?!
This play-doh toy "ruined" this woman's Christmas. It would have made mine. pic.twitter.com/PZfhCTk0lD? Zach Braff (@zachbraff) December 30, 2014
You can't tell us we have our minds in the gutter or that we have wieners on the brain (though that's usually true). There is nothing about this thing that does NOT look like a penis. There's a shaft! A tip! It even has veins!
That is a plastic penis that kids are supposed to squeeze "icing" out of. Hand to heart, we are not making this up.
Basically, Christmases across the nation were ruined for any family that bought Play-Doh's Sweet Shoppe Mountain Playset because it included what is supposed to be a baker's pipette. But when you remove the purple plunger (dibs on "Purple Plunger" as our new band name), all you have left is a penis-shaped toy made out of clear plastic.
Play-Doh thought it was a good idea make this Cake Mountain piece. Complete with blood vessels ?????? pic.twitter.com/FujcuNieWB? coordi oppa afiq (@aahfeekiee) December 30, 2014
Parents understandably went ape-s--t and flooded Play-Doh's Facebook with photos and complaints about what was basically a sex toy packaged into a children's play set. Those comments and pics have since been removed, but Hasboro did release a statement on the Play-Doh Facebook page:
"We have heard some consumer feedback about the extruder tool in the Play-Doh Cake Mountain playset and are in the process of updating all future Play-Doh products with a different tool," reads the statement. "Should any consumer want a replacement extruder for this item, they can contact Hasbro's Customer Service Department at 800-327-8264."
How did this toy go all the way from development to the shelves without one person flagging it for issues pertaining to "looks like a plastic penis?" It's not like anyone has to really squint at it to see the resemblance.
So while this is probably what happened at Play-Doh headquarters when the toy was shown to the executives:
This is what SHOULD have happened:
It's just a penis. And the only remarkable thing about this whole situation once you get past the veiny phallic toy is the idea that no one in the company put a stop to this before Christmas.
Merry Penis, everybody! And a Happy New Penis!