Dysfunction Junction

In honor of Valentine's Day, we'd like to suggest restraining orders be served to the following couples—not for their own safety but to spare us from the inevitable sordid scandals that'll surface. Sure, Russell & Kimora, Kate & Pete, Travis & Shanna, you may be lonely, but checking back in with your ex for a desperate Feb. 14 booty call is just about the worst idea since you initially fell for each other. Suck it up, and drown your singleton sorrows in a pound of chocolate, just like the rest of us.