Is anyone else already bored by Ellen Page? I mean, she was given a tremendous and fun part in Juno. But she's no Drew Barrymore. She's not as likable, not as spunky, not as interesting. And she's too articulate—nowhere near as vulnerable as Drew. Oddly enough, Barrymore so doesn't agree.
Little Miss Juno will be starring in Whip It, a Roller Derby coming-of-age story. Gulp. And Drew is directing. This is her first time. Hard to believe, right?
I'm torn, because I adore Ms. Barrymore and want for her success. But Ms. Page? Ugh. She reminds me of these two girls in my summer camp dorm who would dance on their chairs—in front of the open windows—and sing along to that irritating song "December 1963 (Oh, What a Night)." First the whole dorm was like, aw. But then it was like, we get it: You want to be cute, and you want people to watch you being cute.
Anyway. Page plays a girl named Bliss, who lives in Texas (surely wearing 10-gallon hats and Converse?) with an idiotic family pushing her to do beauty pageants. But Bliss comes of age and totally finds herself—barf!—while competing in an all-girl Roller Derby.
Oh hell, let's recast this thing.