Michele K. Short/FX
Tonight on TV, American Horror Story made us crazy sad, Arrow made us kinda mad, and Modern Family had us cracking up at turkeys. Needless to say, it was an emotional roller coaster of a night. Read all about it in our Rants and Raves!
RANT: American Horror Story: Noooooo not Ma Petite! We thought she was safe after Maggie changed her mind last week, but then Dell had to go and hug her to death so Stanley wouldn't tell everyone about his sexuality. He first went after Amazon Eve, but she kicked his ass so spectacularly that he had to pick somebody else. He almost killed Jimmy, until Jimmy confronted him about being his father. He then decided to go for someone a little smaller, right after Jimmy had finished telling him how much he loved the "little broad." The last shot of the episode featured Ma in a tank at the museum and it was beyond upsetting. We usually try not to condone violence or murder, but we would completely encourage Amazon Eve to finish Dell off. Will there be any freaks left alive when this is over?
RANT: American Horror Story: Well, Penny's dad is a total jerk. To get back at her for planning to run away with Paul, he hired a tattoo artist to fork her tongue and cover her face in tattoos against her will. This show never ceases to come up with the most creative ways to torture people (and us).
RANT: Arrow: We love this show. We love Diggle. We love Oliver. We love Felicity. We don't know if we love Ray Palmer yet, but we do not love Diggle telling Felicity off for "dating" Palmer because it's messing with Oliver's head. Let the girl do whatever (and/or whoever) she wants, even if it's just fueled by fancy clothes. Felicity's potential love life (and "platonic" smooching with Ray!) is no one's business but Felicity's.
And furthermore, the whole sequence with Oliver talking to Cupid (who is super annoying, by the way) when he was really talking to Felicity was just dumb. We're so done with the whole "I'm dark and brooding and I don't deserve love but the people who love me can't love anyone else either" shtick. Get over yourself (and stop breaking our hearts).
RAVE: Arrow: "You know, you're really cute when you're sarcastic." You have no idea how many times we've dreamed of a cute person saying that to us. That cute person was never an obnoxious DJ played by Austin Butler, but we'd still take it.
RANT: Arrow: We're beginning to feel like the show would be no different without the flashbacks.
RAVE: Arrow: On a more positive note, we could not be more excited about the Flash/Arrow crossover! We're also pretty psyched about that Atom suit, which seems to be coming along nicely according to Ray's holographic blueprints...
RAVE: The 100: Watching Abby rock a crying and broken down Clarke in her arms as mother and daughter reunited for the first time since Abby had to send Clarke down to earth? Yeah, Clarke wasn't the only one crying. We were sobbing some real tears, people. We love Bellarke, blah blah blah, but let's be honest: this was the reunion we've been waiting for all season long!
RAVE/RANT: The 100: That Bellarke hug? Everything we wanted and more! But here's where the Rant comes in…why did Clarke have to ruin the amazing mood by asking about Finn?!
RANT: The 100: Finn's officially gone rogue. Burning the food supply of the Grounder village that was solely comprised of women, children and elders? Just for a distraction so you could look around for your people, who you had no proof were actually being held hostage there? Cold. And totally avoidable. And just unnecessary. And then…and then…Finn went even colder and straight up massacred the majority of the village even after he realized none of his people were actually there. He's officially past the point of redemption, and we don't blame Clarke for backing away in fear when she, Bellamy and Octavia finally arrived at the Grounder village and saw the wreckage her former lover caused.
RAVE: The 100: The Grounders that paid a bounty for Jaha in the desert are the same group of Grounders that captured Kane while he was on his way to them to make peace?!? Mind = blown.
RAVE/RANT: The 100: Lincoln is well on his way to becoming a Reaper, thanks to the experiments President Wallace's son is performing on him in Mount Weather, and while this is just insanely thrilling, edge-of-your-seat action and an intense, clever twist, it's just horrifying to see the good, kind-hearted, noble Lincoln being turned into a mindless, murderous, cannibalistic monster.
RAVE: Modern Family: Best episode in years, and this has been a season full of great episodes. Strangely, most of the episode's best moments had to do with turkeys, including Lily falling over due to the heavy turkey in her backpack and Gloria trying to explain the "Colombian custom" of giving out fully cooked turkeys for sixteenth birthdays. It was all gold, and we don't remember the last time we laughed so hard.
RAVE: The Goldbergs: Who wants to join us for a few rounds of Jazzercise in preparation for the holiday? It was a familiar story of the Goldberg parents trying to get closer to their growing children, but it was also perfectly sweet.
RAVE: Law & Order: SVU: Our favorite crime drama is no stranger to taking on the hot topics and ripped-from-the-headlines stories and tonight was no exception. Starting with the celebrity hacking scandal and moving right along to the Ray Rice controversy, this episode of SVU tackled domestic violence, showing more sides than most people are used to. The Walking Dead's Chad Coleman and Meagan Good turned in fine performances in an episode that should leave viewers saying "No More."
RAVE: Nashville: Rayna and Luke, talking about a prenup in the limo on the way to the CMAs red carpet? Yeah, that sounds like the perfect way to pregame the night when two fiancés are up against each other for multiple awards! Talk about an awkward night for all parties involved...and we loved every single second of it!
RAVE: Nashville: And the awkward didn't stop there: the first person Rayna thanked after beating Luke in the first award? Her "wonderful co-writer, the lovely Deacon Claybourne." Yeah, we saw that jaw muscle twitching on your face, Luke! And then speech after speech, Rayna couldn't stop thanking all her ex-boyfriends. Oh hey there, Liam McGuinness shoutout!
RANT: Nashville: Teddy Conrad needs to stop crushing on the hot prostitute. Ew. Just…no.
RANT: Nashville: Drunk, petty, sore loser is not a good look on Luke. Just because Rayna won all the CMA awards he was up for, that doesn't mean he can throw all her talent and hard away just by claiming that the only reason her album went gold was just because he proposed to her on the day she released it. Luke, you lost to her because she's a perfect human being. Take your loss and move on, you still get to marry her!
RAVE: Nashville: Deacon smiling and cheering for each of Rayna's wins? Our hearts just can't take the adorableness! He's so much better for Rayna than Luke is! One text from him and she smiled more than she did all night with Luke.
RAVE: Nashville: Is that a spark we see between Avery and Juliette as they bonded over being better parents for their baby girl than their parents ever were for them? Please say yes, it's time for these two crazy kids to get back together!
What did you watch tonight? Rant and rave with us in the comments!
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