Kathy Griffin Takes Aim!

Kathy Griffin has done it again.

In her new stand-up show, which I caught Saturday night at the Kodak in Hollywood, she takes no prisoners. So, who’s she going after this time? Oprah Winfrey, Marie Osmond, Britney Spears and Dr. Phil McGraw, among others. But the self-professed D-list star also hits close to home. She has much to say about her new billionaire boyfriend, Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak.

She played three nights at the Kodak. Boldfaced names in the audience included Camryn Manheim, Lauren Conrad, Suzanne Somers, Jackie Collins, Matt Dallas and superagent Kevin Huvane.

Read on for some of a few of my favorite Griffin thoughts, musings and cracks.

Oprah Winfrey:  Griffin’s political commentary won’t get her on CNN with Wolf Blitzer, but she did make a good point. “I think Oprah can actually elect the president of the United States,” she said. “I’m telling you, because everyone was like Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, and then, boom, [Barack Obama] wins a white state! I’m like, Oprah does control everything.”

Dr. Phil:  Even Britney Spears wants nothing to do with the TV talk-show host, Griffin cracked. “The best part is that Britney—who’s crazy—isn’t crazy enough to talk to Dr. Phil,” she said. “Dr. Phil just walks into her [hospital room], and Britney Spears...just looks at him and is like, 'I’m outta here.' ”

Marie Osmond:  Did Osmond really faint on Dancing with the Stars? Griffin believes she was just pulling our leg for some votes. Why? Because Ms. Osmond's first words were, "Oh crap," when she came to. "When you really faint, your first thought is, Did you see my p--sy?” Griffin cracked.

Liza Minnelli:  Griffin recently met the legendary diva while they were both playing at the same casino. At one point, it was just the two of them in an elevator. Griffin couldn’t resist asking her about the late, womanizing Chicago choreographer Bob Fosse. “We’re just standing there, and I go, ‘So, did you f--k Fosse?” Griffin remembered. “And she goes, ‘Oh, yeah!’ ”

Patricia Heaton:  Griffin said she introduced the ultraliberal Wozniak to the outspoken conservative sitcom star at the Emmys. “Of course, Wozniak doesn’t know who she is, so I have to treat him like my foreign exchange student from Denmark,” Griffin said. “But I can’t resist saying, ‘Oh, Steve, this is Patricia Heaton. She’s a very popular sitcom actress. She was on a show called Everybody Loves Raymond, and she doesn’t believe in evolution. She believes in...creationism.”

And Speaking of the Boyfriend:  Griffin can’t believe she’s dating a billionaire who is so green he doesn’t own a jet and drives a Prius. “His favorite restaurant in the world is Bob’s Big Boy in Riverside, [California],” Griffin announced. “My whole life I’m dating guys who could only afford to take me to Bob’s f--king Big Boy. Now this guy’s got a billion bucks, and I’m still sitting at Bob’s Big Boy!”