NBC"I had this confidence in what I could do. I didn't have so much confidence in who I was or what I had to offer just as a girl."
That's what Jennifer Lopez—the super-sexy and ridiculously talented triple threat—confessed to Maria Shriver during a candid interview for Today.
While promoting her upcoming book True Love (available tomorrow), Lopez admitted that she recently realized the reason behind her failed attempts at finding a substantial relationship was because she suffered from self-esteem issues, and while many of us may find the idea that such a confident celeb can struggle with self-worth, Jennifer explains that it began in her childhood.
"It's still a work in progress for me," she responds when asked why she feels unworthy of true love. "It's how you feel as a child, you know, being a middle a child and kinda being invisible sometimes and trying to get the attention, so what did I do? I overachieved."
She continued, "I was the one who ran track and won medals every weekend, or I was the one who would go on the show and steal the show, and that would give me a confidence. But there was a part of me that just wanted love. That just wanted to be...that felt like she wasn't worthy of love, and that's why she was trying to do all this stuff."
For that reason, Lopez would jump from relationship to relationship. "The first person who shows up and gives me a little comfort and gives me a little chemistry, boom, we're in," she said, adding that was the case when she broke up with Ben Affleck and now ex-husband Marc Anthony moved in.
"It was probably my first big heartbreak, and to have one of my best friends, who I'd known for years, who I actually love and did have chemistry with, come into my life and say, 'I'm here'...What you need to know is, nobody can save you or heal you. Only you can do that for you."
J.Lo split from longtime beau Casper Smart earlier this year and has remained unattached since, making her really single for the first time. And although she admits she's scared, Lopez states she's going to do things a little differently from now on.
"I also know that I can't make decisions based on the fear," she said. "So that when a person does show up, it's not like I have to have them there, or I'm like, 'Yeah this is so nice, let's move in together!' I just go, 'You know, let's get to know each other, let's see if you fit in, are you good enough for my kids?' And if we bump into, you know some bumpy parts, 'Are you gonna work on it with me?'
"I'm open to it, I'm open to love, but right now, I think it's better to just be on my own for a minute and learn more about myself."
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