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Everyone is already predicting who will win this year's Oscars. Why should we watch if we know what'll happen?
—Meaghan, Tempe, Arizona

The B!tch Replies:  What? You mean you won't be plastered to the high def to see if Mark Wahlberg wears a straight tie or a bow tie? You don't care whether Babel gets lauded with top honors for its incisive treatment of xenophobia and racism in a way we absolutely have not seen 8 million times already? What are you, a Commie?

Although the Globes have predicted Oscar wins many times, you shouldn't use them to bet on Academy Award champs. Oddsmakers insist the Globes, SAG Awards and other self-congratulatory contests can have very different tastes from Oscar. And that's why you should watch. That is, if you care whether Babel  beats The Queen.

"It is the years when we know—K-N-O-W know—who is going to win that surprises happen," says Jeanne Wolf, Parade magazine's West Coast contributing editor. "If Helen Mirren doesn't win, there'll be shock waves. There will  be surprises."

Case in point: Dreamgirls took home the Globe for Best Picture, Musical or Comedy this year. But the Academy didn't even nominate it. Ditto with Beyoncé, who got a Globe nom for Best Actress, Musical or Comedy. Oscar chose to shut her out, power booty and all. (The Academy and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association both nominated Jennifer Hudson, though. Then again, they were probably  terrified she'd scream a power ballad at them for 10 minutes if they tried to ignore her.)

And just last year, the Globes tapped Brokeback Mountain for Best Picture, Drama and Walk the Line for Best Comedy or Musical. Oscar, however, anointed Crash.

"If the Globes represents your parents' generation, then the Oscars reflects your grandparents'," says Reed Richards of the Website BetUS.com, whose odds favor The Departed  for Oscar Best Picture this year. "We think traditionally when we do our odds for Oscars, and we think progressively when it comes to the Globes."

One more reason to watch: Little Abigail Breslin is presenting an award with Will Smith's son Jaden. All together now: Awwww.

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