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Hey, B!tch, love the podcast, but I have a question you haven't answered yet. Where do stars get their nannies? Are they personally hired, or do stars use some kind of company?

By: Kelsey, Palm Beach, Florida

Dear Hayseed: Everyone knows we grow our nannies' brains in vats in an underground cache below Naissance on Melrose. That way, we can control the growth of the nanny's frontal lobe and make sure she doesn't get too uppity.

Can you not do better than this, tiny people of the world? I guess not. Best dispatch these en masse in one of my Lightning Rounds.

Jessica Alba is the best. Do you know what her next movie is going to be?
Robert Lang, Los Angeles

She's set to film sequels to both Sin City and Fantastic Four. Until then, placate yourself with the drama Awake, costarring Hayden Christensen and featuring Alba as Sam, the wife of a heart-surgery patient. That film is slated to debut in the third quarter of this year.

Do stars like Charlize Theron and Jessica Simpson pay for the dresses they wear to the Academy Awards or the Grammys?
April, Sumter, South Carolina

Nope. Sometimes the designers pay them. Read on.

During awards season, are the stars paid to wear the jewels, or are they content with just borrowing them for the night?
Mirv, Melbourne, Australia

Some borrow, but other stars charge for the privilege. Los Angeles Times fashion writer Booth Moore estimated last year that stars charge up to $250,000 to wear a particular designer to a red carpet event. (These payoffs have been underway for years. Moore writes that Bulgari paid Winona Ryder to wear its jewels to the 1999 Oscars.)

You are, without a doubt, one of the best writers on the Web.
Nina, Glocester, Rhode Island

You are, without a doubt, accurate.

When is the Simple Life supposed to air?
Harry, Baldwinsville, New York

New episodes in June. First three seasons are on right now, pretty much all day, every day. And only on E!, people.

Why do you go through so many B!tchlings? Are you really that evil?
Dorothy, St. Louis

Quite. They're delicious and an excellent source of iron.

I have a question I feel only another Leslie will be able to answer. Is Charlize Theron's name pronounced Ther-in or The-rone? Please help me with this dilemma, oh seer of all that is Hollywood.
Leslie, Phillipsburg, New Jersey

Just cool that fever, there, sparky. It's pronounced Shar-leece Thear-on.