The Hills is hotter than a hot curling iron.
Monday's return of the reality-esque soap opera, featuring international drama from the fashionable climes of Paris, Beverly Hills and Colorado, averaged a series-high 4.7 million viewers, MTV said Wednesday.
The show was especially dominant among senior citizens.
On Earth-Two.
Here on the home planet, the show ruled among 12- to can't-help-themselves 34-year-olds. Its 5.0 rating in that demographic was nearly 50 percent bigger than the biggest young'uns-drawing show on all of broadcast network TV on Monday.
And when the 10 p.m. broadcast was over on MTV, the voyeurism was only beginning. According to the network, the episode was streamed 2.2 million times on its Website Tuesday.
Monday's show was billed as the premiere of the second half of The Hills' third season, because it's more exciting than merely billing it as the first new episode in four months.
The show featured the Paris-based Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port learning an important lesson about what happens when a plugged-in curling iron meets fine fabric, and the Colorado-hibernating Heidi Montag and gentleman friend Spencer Pratt working on their angsty faces.