Yes, it's nice that you have the entire Internet at your fingertips and you can up your texting game with emoticons and selfies, but if you really sit back and think about it, technology has kind of ruined your relationships.
Harsh truth: Your relationship with your significant other, your friends and even your boss is completely different now that technology dominates your life.
1. You can't enjoy a nice dinner out until someone takes a photo of their meal.
Candlelit dinners used to be an intimate experience. Now it goes something like this:
"Happy anniversary, honey! I ordered us the lobster and filet mignon, but first, I really want to give you a speech about how much our love means to me. Oh, you're Instagraming the polenta appetizer? OK. I'll wait. Now I have a very important question to ask…Oh. Now you are refreshing Instagram to see how many likes your polenta got. Fine...I think we should see other people."
2. You can easily get thrown under the bus at work.
You called in sick to work on a Friday because you wanted to leave early for a little weekend getaway. Most people do it at some point. But your friend stupidly tags you in her status that says: "Headed to Vegas with my girrrrls this morning! Road trip! YAY!!" A coworker sees your status and rats you out. Or worse, you're friends with your boss on Facebook (why?!) and they see it for themselves. Now they know you don't have food poisoning. And now you're demoted. Or fired.
3. You feel like you have to document your entire vacation.
If you don't post photos of the sunset in the Bahamas, did you ever really go? If your desire to give people vacation envy via social media overshadows your desire to have some actual time off and be unplugged, rethink your priorities.
4. Facebook stalking has replaced the usual "getting to know you" part of dating.
Blind dates? Not so blind anymore. And first dates are actually third dates because we all know people stalk each other on Facebook to learn as much as they can about the other person before they commit to dinner and/or sex. The mystery of getting to know someone is gone. Sometimes that's a good thing, but the fact that it's a forgotten practice is a little sad.
5. Alone time isn't actually alone time.
The idea that we are so bored without our phones during the five (or so) minutes we are in the bathroom is actually a little disturbing. Whatever happened to just bringing in books when we use the john? Or magazines?! Or maybe you just sit by yourself for three measly minutes without anything distracting you? Also, the percentage of phones dropped into toilets has risen dramatically over the years. That's a scientific fact.*
*Not actually a scientific fact, but it's probably true.
6. There's added pressure to make things "official" on Facebook.
Sadly, there are a lot of people out there who don't count their relationship as real unless they have that FB verification. Engaged? Married? Living together? It doesn't matter until everyone on Facebook sees it in your profile info! And if your boo doesn't want to make things Facebook official, you are probably constantly questioning why they are holding out. Is there someone else? Are they still playing the field? And now you are paranoid and ruining your relationship before it even started.
7. And speaking of Facebook official, if you experience a breakup or go through some other horrific life crisis, everybody knows.
Facebook is s--tty like that. Your drama is all over the place, complete with really sad heartbreak icons to add insult to injury.
8. Quality time isn't the same anymore since everyone is on their phone.
Catching up with friends and/or family? Put your damn phone down and look people in the eye. Have a conversation. Don't worry about what you are missing on Twitter. It will still be there when you are done socializing with actual humans.
9. The majority of interactions are through text, so now calling someone is weird.
Um. How does one have a conversation over the phone again?
(Original art by Amanda Oleander for E! Online)