Here at E! Loves, we're not just in the business of mocking Justin Bieber. We're also in the business of preparing our readers for any and all life-threating situations!
We were inspired by this reddit thread, so we went out and did some research on the tips reddit users suggested and rounded up some other ones we discovered, and now we have a list of seemingly simple lessons that could seriously come in handy someday.
So print it out. Laminate it. Study it. And stay safe out there, kids:
1. Use your pants to fashion a makeshift life jacket if you are stranded in water.
2. Do not remove objects from stab wounds.
Whatever is in there could be blocking/stopping the blood flow, so leave it in there. If there is no object and the victim is bleeding, put pressure on it using whatever is around: a jacket, your shirt, your hand, etc.
3. Always let someone know where you will be.
It doesn't matter if you are going out with friends or going hiking alone. Someone needs to know where you are so they know if you have not returned.
4. Your phone can almost always dial 911.
You can call 911 without service or a SIM card on most cell phones.
5. Install a carbon monoxide detector.
Just like a smoke detector, this is another simple device that could save your life one day.
6. Always have an exit strategy.
You know how movie theaters always play a message about emergency exits before the film starts? It's for a reason. At work, at home, on a plane or in a public place…always know where your exits are.
7. Pedestrians: don't talk/text and walk!
Get off your cell phone! You are not paying as close attention to what's happening around you as you should be, and that's a serious problem if what's happening is a cab coming straight at you.
8. Don't walk down the stairs with your hands in your pockets.
You need your hands to protect your head or stop your fall.
9. If you are lost in the woods, your first step is to find shelter and water.
You can last for many days without food, but you can only survive hours without shelter against the elements. And we all know the general rule: three days without water is the maximum.
10. Just because the light turns green doesn't mean it's safe to go.
A police office once told us that hospitals and graveyards are full of people who had the right of way. Just because you are next to go, doesn't mean you will be completely safe if you do go. Take a second and look both ways. And we sincerely hope we don't have to tell you all to wear your seatbelt at ALL TIMES.
11. Be careful about flipping people off when driving.
You never know who has a serious case of road rage and/or what they carry in their car. It's better to just keep your fingers and swear words to yourself.
12. When stuck in a riptide, swim parallel to shore.
If you try and swim against the riptide, you will be pulled under. Swimming parallel to shore or floating on your back will pull you out to sea more, but it's better than trying to fight a riptide, which will always be stronger than you.
13. Never drive when you are tired.
Sleepy drivers are basically the same as drunk drivers.
14. In emergency situations, avoid the bystander effect by pointing people out.
When you need help, always point directly at someone and call them out with specifics. This will help avoid the bystander effect. For example, don't just yell at a crowd for help, point at one person and say something like: "YOU in the blue pants! Call 911 now!"
15. If someone is drowning and you are not trained in water rescue, just remember to Reach, Throw, Row and Go.
Your first act should never be to swim out to them; they could very well drag you down. First, try and REACH them from the safety of a dock or pool edge, or find something they can grab onto. If that doesn't work, look for a life raft or safety ring to THROW to them so they can stay afloat. Next is getting a boat (if available) and ROWing out to save them. Finally, as a last resort, GO out into the water and try and rescue them.
16. If caught in a burning building, get low.
The breathable air will be closer to the floor.
17. If you are trying to break up a dog fight, always grab the back legs of the dog(s) and pull backwards.
Most people grab the collar on instinct, and that's how you get bit.
18. Never let an attacker drag you into a vehicle.
Fight with every ounce of strength you possess to keep from getting in that car. The chance of you being found or rescued drops significantly once you are moved to a second location.
19. Always trust your instincts.
It's our natural warning system. If a situation feels wrong or something just doesn't "feel right" about a location, garage, person, etc., always listen to your gut.
20. If you are being attacked, go for the groin, eyes or ears.
That is where the person is most vulnerable and if you get a good hit in, it could stop them long enough for you to get away.
21. If you are in a survival situation, breathe through your nose and not your mouth.
Breathing through your mouth uses up more energy. Stay calm and breathe through your nose to save energy and moisture.
22. No weapon? Use your belt.
If you have nothing to defend yourself with in a survival situation against an attacker, your belt can be used as a whip.
23. If you are lost and need directions quickly, find any place that does delivery.
Pizza joints and the like are good bets for getting directions, as are hotels.
24. Underwater and don't know which way is up? Just breathe...
...and follow the air bubbles. They're going up. Similarly, if you have been buried in an avalanche or in dirt and don't know which direction is the surface, spit and see where gravity takes it. Head in the opposite direction.
25. And finally: never, ever text and drive. Ever.
We're serious, people. No text, email, Facebook status or tweet is worth your life or the life of anyone else on the road.
Got any tips that could save a life one day? Share them in the comments!