What's important to remember at this time is to take deep breaths and keep repeating to yourself: "We will get through this together."
And we will get through this together.
Oh, hell. Who are we kidding? If there is a Nutella shortage then there is zero hope for humanity and we should just start preparing for the end of days.
According to The Washington Post, the poor weather in Turkey, which is where Nutella sources its hazelnuts for the delicious lifeblood spread, is causing prices to hike up as much as 60 percent. Two other ingredients in Nutella, palm oil and cocoa, have also seen a spike in price due to weather and supply-demand changes.
And that's why we have a perfect storm of ingredients shortage that might lead to a Nutella shortage, which will lead to complete and utter panic for those who love it so much they see no shame in straight-up bathing in the sweet spread.
But Ferrero, the company behind Nutella, insists that it will not have a dip in production because it has acquired Oltan Group, a Turkish company that is a leading manufacturer of hazelnuts. A backup plan, if you will.
"Ferrero has protected itself from the supply issues to an extent," Foodnews deputy editor Julian Gale told BusinessWeek. "There is ongoing strong demand, albeit with some occasional quiet patches when buyers hold back for a period, which helps keeps [hazelnut] prices firm."
Long story short: Don't panic yet. We might be fine.
But people who like Trader Joe's almond butter might be the opposite of fine, if "the opposite of fine" is "poisoned and stuck in the bathroom."
The company announced on Tuesday that recent batches of their raw crunchy unsalted almond butter and raw creamy unsalted almond butter may contain salmonella.
If you purchased either of those butters from Trader Joe's, compare your product code with the tainted product code on TJ's website, and if they match, throw it out immediately. Or you can return them to Trader Joe's for a full refund.
It's been a rough week for spreads and butters, you guys. Heaven help us if peanut butter supply starts dwindling. Then we definitely need to prepare for the apocalypse.
Meet you guys at Costco to stock up on Nutella!