Every summer, you write in your Dream Journal a list of things you wish to accomplish before the summer months run out. If you're an average human being, this means closing the journal and forgetting about 95 percent of your bucket list, thus accomplishing little to none of it by the time September rolls around.
Here are a few summer bucket list items we may have been unable to commit to:
1. Try New, Fun and Creative Workouts
Hike Runyon Canyon. Go to SoulCycle. Try that trapeze class. Go pole dancing. Take the dog on a walk every day. You've set some pretty high standards, which means you've gone to SoulCycle once and walked Fido a grand total of 10 times.
Wow, did you see on Instagram/that beauty guru's page/Cosmo there's a new cleanse where you only eat pickles for three weeks? Sign us up! Until the smell of pickle juice makes us dry heave and we give up on the cleanse on Day Two.
3. Go Vegan/Paleo/Cut Carbs Completely
Summer is a time for #fitspo and to get a #thighgap…Just kidding, after two hours as a raw vegan, you already felt like passing out. It didn't last long. Get us carbs, stat!
4. Feel the Sand in Between Your Toes
You have about 50 pictures of the beach pinned to your "Summer 2014" board on Pinterest, but your resolve to make it to the ocean weakened after you realized: (A) how much gas and money it would take to get there, (B) how much time it would take and (C) just how inflexible your work schedule is.
5. Start a Cool New Pinterest Craft
You're determined to make some cool wall art with your Instagram photos and you've found the perfect paint color for that dresser you rescued from a dumpster. Little did you know the motivation it would take to actually finish these projects…
6. Catch Up on Your Reading
You've decided to read more books for yourself because you're an independent adult who does stuff like that…right? Mmm, wrong. You have little to no time to read and that book list you found online is a joke.
7. Have a Summer Fling
Every time summer comes around, you're all: "Wow, summer is a time for new starts. Plus, I look really great with a tan. It'll be easy to lock down a summer fling!" Again, wrong. It seems every summer is spent hunting for summer love and it never arrives. Maybe because it's harder to get a tan than you originally thought or maybe it's because your love affair with froyo is blinding you. It's OK, you'll always have winter, when everyone is bundled up and looking gooood.
8. Do Things for Yourself
This summer, despite having a summer fling to whom you're totally not attached, you've decided to be a little bit selfish. You know, "I'm doin' me" and all that. But then your mom calls and she wants you to skip a bar night to babysit your dog…And then your roommate begs for you to make her dinner when you get home…And then your brother reminds you of a promise you made to teach him how to properly do laundry. So much for "I'mma do me!"
9. Become a Runner
Everyone always resolves to go on more vacations and be more spontaneous…until it comes to actually organizing the trip. Getting a few other friends on board to chip in for gas money, etc., is a seemingly impossible feat, especially since half of them are flakes.
11. Work on Your Résumé
"This summer is going to be my bitch," you proudly declare to your roommate. You're going to get your s--t together and become a boss, taking the bull by the horns at work. However, by the time 5 p.m. rolls around, you're pretty much over anything that has to do with work and you slither into bed immediately after entering the front door.
12. Get a Tan
If you're one of those people who just naturally tans evenly and easily, we hate you. If you work indoors, good luck getting a tan because those prime UV hours are long gone by the time you get home. Oh, and don't even get us started on spray tans. No matter how much prep we put into it, they always fade unevenly and make us self-conscious.
Better luck next time, you guys.