Stealing candy from a baby is theoretically always bad. But is "stealing" Burger King pies from a spoiled, bratty child bad? Especially if the pies weren't exactly stolen, on account of you paying for them all? And the child you're trying to spite is actually the worst?
Such is the question at the center of a Reddit post titled, "Am I a bad person for this?"
We have split the story into the three Shakespearean acts it was meant to become:
Act 1: Something Wicked This Way Comes
Two customers, unalike in dignity,
In fair Burger King, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where annoying children are B.K. pie fiends.
TRANSLATION: So a while ago I had decided to treat myself and go to Burger King. I hadn't had the greatest of days and I had a headache coming on. It was a very long line and I was at the end of it waiting patiently. When behind me comes this woman yapping on her cellphone with a little monster of a child. This kid was out of control, screaming, punching his mother throwing around a gameboy whenever something didn't go right in the game. The mother didn't seem to pay any attention to him and his continued yelling of 'I want a Fucking PIE'. After about 5 minutes of the line with these people behind me, I had gone from a headache to a full on migraine, but nothing was going to stop me from getting those burgers.
Act 2: Much Ado About Nothing
I calmly turn and ask her nicely if she can please calm or quiet her child down. Immediately she gets up in my face telling me I can't tell her nothing about raising her child and to mind my own business. I nod and turn around, shes still yelling at the back of my head when the child cries out again how he wants a pie, the mother consoles him, calling him sweety and ensuring they'll get pies for lunch because she loves him so much. Things immediately go back to the [way] they were and I wait another 5 minutes before getting to the front of the line. It turns out it was so slow because they had 1 trainee on cash during the lunch hour rush. All I can think of is how the people behind me ruined my splurge and gave me this headache. I then decide to ruin their day.
Act 3: All's Well That Ends Well
I order every pie they have left in addition to my burgers. Turned out to be 23 pies in total, I take my order and walk towards the exit. Moments later I hear the woman yelling, what do you mean you don't have any pies left, who bought them all? I turn around and see the cashier pointing me out with the woman shooting me a death glare. I stand there and pull out a pie and slowly start eating eat as I stare back at her. She starts running towards me but can't get to me because of other lineups in the food court. I turn and slowly walk away.
You have now heard the whole story and must decide thee's fate, is he bad for that?