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13 Arguments About Your Dog That You Will Eventually Lose

Happy National Dog Day! Have a dog? Thinking about adopting one? Either way, you really need to prepare yourself accordingly. Why?

Because no one is able to resist the power of puppy dog eyes. So state your case, get your witnesses and your evidence, but these are 13 arguments you will never, ever win. Case closed.

1. We're not getting a dog.

If you're going "just to look," you're leaving with a dog. If you think you don't have the time or the money to have a dog, you will once you see THAT FACE. You're getting a dog. Just accept it.

2. The dog isn't allowed on the couch.

Good luck enforcing that one. The couch now belongs to your dog. You're lucky if you are allowed to sit on the couch.

3. The dog isn't sleeping with us in bed.

You're going to miss prime dog spooning time? And a personal heater for your feet?

4. The dog isn't allowed to eat people food.

This one you may not actually have too much control over, especially once your dog learns what's inside those grocery bags you haven't unpacked or where you keep all the leftover chicken bones (i.e. the garbage can). Obviously, avoid the bad ones (the chocolate and grapes, the onions and avocado, etc.), but will giving your puppy a little bit of leftover meatloaf kill him? Nah, he deserves it.

5. I'll only give the dog a treat when he earns it.

And when he almost does the trick right (close enough!). And when I need him to do something that will make my life easier. And when I pass by the treat bowl and he looks cute. And when…

6. We won't talk to our dog using a baby voice.

THAT'S JUST THE WAY THAT SHE TALKS.

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7. I'll be able to discipline the dog.

No matter what piece of technology gets destroyed, no matter how expensive the shoes were, no matter how ABSOLUTELY INSANELY FURIOUS you are, once you see that face...how could you be mad at that face?!

8. We're not going to throw our dog a birthday party.

Really? Are you not going to throw your kids a birthday party either?

9. We won't dress our dog up for Halloween.

People who dress their dogs in clothes every day are crazy. You're not like that. You just do it once a year for Halloween. It's festive! And have you seen how cute the dog costumes are at Target? They are very, very cute.

10. OK, but we won't make our dog Halloween costumes.

How else do you expect your dog to dress up as Harry Potter?

11. Our dog is not going to be in the holiday card.

He's a part of the family. Of course, you will put him in the card.

12. Our dog is not participating in our wedding.

Your dog is going to be the ring bearer at your wedding.

13. We're definitely not getting a second dog.

Who is going to be best friends with your first dog?!

(Originally published Thu., Jul. 31, 2014 12:47 PM PDT)

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