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Here's What Would Happen If Marnie From Girls Had Been Cast in Peter Pan Live! Instead

Jemima Kirke, Lena Dunham, Allison Williams, Zosia Mamet, Girls Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images

Allison Williams has been cast as Peter Pan in NBC's upcoming Peter Pan Live!, a sort of sequel production to last year's The Sound of Music Live! Williams' Girls co-star Lena Dunham could not be happier:

Williams was born to play the role:

Caption: "Thrilled to be playing Peter Pan live on NBC in December. I've been rehearsing for a REALLY long time."

But what if it were her Girls character, Marnie, who were cast instead? We investigate (translation: basically write fan fiction).

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Marnie would audition with some jazzy rendition of "Forever Young." Obviously, it would be the Jay Z version, and obviously, it would be kind of embarrassing for everyone involved.

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But the producers of the show hear something they like. When she finds out that she got the role, Marnie instantly updates her Facebook status to say how #blessed she is and watches to see if Charlie likes it.

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He doesn't.

Shoshanna would think that it's so kewl that Marnie's going to be on TV, even though she heard that Miley Cyrus got the role. Also: Shosh never knew that Peter Pan was done on stage, she thought it was just a Disney movie. 

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Marnie would refuse to cut her hair for the role.

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And Hannah would argue that cutting all your hair off is so freeing and playing Peter Pan as a woman is a big deal for feminism and Marie shouldn't conform to heteronormative standards of beauty. Also, that they'd look really cute with matching haircuts.

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At the instance of her mother, Marnie would go on a juice cleanse before the show (because the camera adds 10 pounds). It makes her very, very cranky. No one actually likes a juice cleanse.

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Marnie goes on her first ever late-night talk show to promote Peter Pan Live! She’s super-nervous and ends up telling an embarrassing story about her best friend. Everyone thinks she’s so charming and funny...

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...except Hannah. Who knows the story is about her and confronts Marnie about it.

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Hannah still shows up to the live taping, because she's NOT the wound. Marnie would get off to a rough start (naturally), but would spot her friends in the crowd and regain her confidence. Her rendition of "I Won't Grow Up" includes a rap and she KILLS IT.

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Elijah would crash the show during one of the Lost Boys numbers and get escorted out by NBC security. Later, TMZ would write a story with footage of him getting dragged offstage and Elijah would be proud.

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Even though Jessa would say she didn't, she would watch from home and play a drinking game. She would drink every time Marnie's wig almost falls off and get drunk.

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Adam would tell Hannah the show is bulls--t, but later would tell Marnie she did great.

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And Ray would be strangely turned on seeing Marnie as Peter Pan and not know why.

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In the green room after the show, Shoshanna would bond with Christopher Walken, who plays Captain Hook. Apparently they have more in common than we'd think.

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At the after-party, Marnie would make out with whoever is cast as John Darling.

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Don't worry, he's 18. She checked.

Afterward, Hannah and Marnie would apologize and make up. Until Hannah writes a review of the show on her new blog and calls Marnie's performance "understated," which Marnie takes as an insult and they start fighting again. Obviously.

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Peter Pan Live! airs on NBC on Dec. 4. This version of Girls airs on HBO never.

(E! and NBC are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)

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