It's arguably the best night of the whole season for us Bachelorette fans, and it wasn't a total disappointment. Sure, Andi's not pregnant, but there was a fair amount of drama to be had, as Marquel confronted Andrew, and an audience member made a bold move.
First up, a visit from JP and Ashley, who are expecting a baby on October 7th. They're moving to Miami and talking names, but they don't reveal any. Chris Harrison announces that we're doing a live ultrasound to find out if it's a boy or a girl. They're having a boy! Great! A sonogram on live TV sounds like some sort of terrible nightmare we had once, so please remind us never to fall in love on television. Ashley joked about a live birth, and honestly we're not sure how much of that was actually a joke.
After that nonsense, it was time for Andi's guys, who were all adorably/awfully decked out in scarves. Chris started with a video package of the guys not getting along, including Andrew's racist comments and JJ (the pantsapreneur!) refusing to congratulate other guys on getting roses.
Chris gave Marquel and Andrew a chance to resolve their issue. In case you don't remember, JJ (the pantsapreneur) had claimed after one of the rose ceremonies that, after both Ron and Marquel had received roses, Andrew had whispered something offensive about how Andi had given roses to the two black men in the group.
In starting to defend himself, Andrew first referred to Marquel as Ron. Marquel was quick to correct him, but confusing the two men was definitely not the best way to get himself back into anyone's good graces.
Andrew continued to outright deny having said anything offensive, and went into attack mode, which also didn't help. Marquel refused to speculate on what had happened, but said that he trusts JJ's word as his friend. The audience was clearly on Marquel's side.
When the show came back from commercial break, Chris was about to bring Marquel (a clear fan favorite) up for an interview, JJ (the pantsapreneur) interrupted, saying he felt attacked earlier, though he doesn't really care what they think. Brian piped up and said his comments would have gone over much better if he hadn't said he didn't care. It was super awkward, but the awkwardness dissipated when Marquel took a seat on the couch next to Chris to talk about how much everyone loves him (us included).
The man ended his interview by giving the audience cookies. Cookies, you guys. He has cookies and all he wants is love. The line starts behind us, ladies and gentlemen.
Next up, Marcus, who we also love. The show is kind enough to rehash that moment when Andi gave the rose to Nick (ugh) and sent Marcus home. One of the worst moments of the season, right? Thanks for reminding us of it, show. Marcus is still clearly devastated, but at least we'll get to watch him on Bachelor in Paradise!
Finally, it's Chris's turn. We also love Chris. We love Chris so much. Chris talked and talked about how his family supported him, and then a fan asked if she could interrupt. Her name was Petra, and everyone was laughing. She asked if he thought he would find someone in Iowa, and it was super awkward. Chris Harrison asked if she wanted to date the other Chris, and she said absolutely, and Chris Harrison told them to have a commercial break speed date, and we're kind of mad because why did no one tell us we could do that? We totally would have done that! We wouldn't have done that, because we're chickens who rarely leave our couches, but we like to think we would have done that.
After Chris and Petra's speed date (which seemed to go well?), it was time for the guys to grill Andi. Basically, they all just asked about her decision to send them home, and it was a lot of the same old stuff we had already heard: she just wasn't feeling it. As much as we whine about her sending guys home, that's a perfectly valid reason for her to do so. Andi also firmly shot down rumors that she was pregnant.
Finally, it was time to bring back that pesky lie detector test. The three guys who lied were Marcus, Dylan, and Josh. Marcus lied about sleeping with fewer than 20 women, while Dylan (whose name we would have struggled to tell you) does not actually prefer brunettes over blondes, and is not actually ready for marriage. Andi decided not to find out what Josh lied about, so hopefully we'll find out after the finale.
So what did you think of the men telling all? Was it as satisfyingly juicy as you wanted it to be, or was it a little bit boring? Did the show correctly pinpoint your favorite 3 guys (Marquel, Marcus, and Chris)? Do you think audience member Petra was ballsy or irritating? Did you think it was strange that Eric wasn't mentioned? Sound off in the comments!