Everything is the color of cotton candy and there is a unicorn present. This is either the type of stuff that made up our childhood dreams or Paris Hilton's latest music video. If you guessed the latter, congrats; here's a rainbow lollipop.
In E!'s exclusive behind-the-scenes clip, Hilton said she "wanted [the video] to be something that was very magical, ethereal, just very fantasy like." Well, she definitely succeeded. Here are 12 of the weirdest, wildest, and most wonderful moments.
1. Is that a throne of cotton candy?! Get. Us. One. Now.
2. There are a lot of blooming flowers happenin' in this music video. Is it a metaphor for her vagina? That's what flowers are metaphors for, right? We're not making this up, people. That's a thing.
3. Oh, those nails. Slaaaay.
They're like ten little kaleidoscopes ever-so-gently caressing her face.
4. This look feels awfully similar to some of Paris' previous Halloween costumes. Nonetheless, she is one fiiine fairy. Or a Vegas showgirl angel? Either way...
5. That is an awfully impractical outfit to be running around in. We see right through you, Paris. You've never frolicked in a field a day in your life.
6. "Ugh, flower crowns are so in right now," said every white girl ever. But seriously, this is one flower crown (two flower crowns? Whatever) that just won't quit.
7. Paris, do you like flowers? We weren't sure.
8. Still not sure if you like flowers. HA HA just kidding, yes we are. You love flowers.
You're sitting in a flower battlefield, for Pete's sake, where instead of shrapnel and violence there are flowers and more flowers. Also, don't pretend like you can walk in grass in those shoes.
9. There are an awful lot of these quick cuts and we might get a seizure from all the fabulousness.
10. Yes, Paris, touch yourself by the moonlight. Very normal.
Also, have we ever seen Paris in flats before? We think not.
11. A unicorn. A G.D. unicorn, people. It's so beautiful we're gonna die.
12. Paris Hilton...WITH BANGS. She looks terrifyingly mature and we're not sure how we feel about it. Put a child under each arm and she's practically begging you to not tell the press about her minivan.
And that is all. We love this video. That said, we've seen enough pink for the day.