The United States men's team got knocked out of the World Cup last week, and we are just now getting over it. It's a bummer, because everyone all over the country was just so damn patriotic!
But with the final games upon us and the end of soccer/football/futbol action just around the corner, we just want to take this time to recap and honor the 24 most American things that happened during the 2014 World Cup:
1. First of all, just getting out of the Group of Death when no one thought we would was very American of us:
We're stubborn and probably won for pure spite and to prove doubters wrong. Suckers.
2. Captain Clint Dempsey scoring a goal with his crotch:
3. This mention of Chuck Norris:
4. Spelling out "U-S-A" in chicken wings:
5. This guy:
6. And this guy:
7. The goosebump-inducing "I believe that we will win!" chant:
8. That time we obviously had to bring up our trips to the moon:
9. When Tim Howard quickly became a national hero, icon and meme:
He can save anything.
10. He was such a great American that President Obama called him personally:
11. That time that USA coach Jurgen Klinsmann wrote a note to excuse everyone from work so they could watch the U.S.-Germany game:
12. This U.S. fan chugging and then spilling beer all over himself:
13. This small child who is already more patriotic than most:
15. These two bros getting a selfie in:
16. When Waffle House called for a ban on Belgium waffles before the USA-Belgium game:
We don't believe in Belgium waffles? Waffle House (@WaffleHouse) June 30, 2014
17. When this dude dressed as Teddy Roosevelt:
18. And this dude dressed as Abraham Lincoln:
19. When everyone was confused by the USMNT acronym that was all over Twitter:
20. When even NFL players, who play what is truly America's most popular sport, got into the World Cup spirit:
Hey, Colts QB Andrew Luck! (Please take us to the Super Bowl).
21. When cities all over the country were taken over by World Cup fans, like in Chicago:
22. The "U-S-A!" chant that constantly echoed through the land:
23. When we reminded the world about our own game against Germany after they destroyed Brazil in the semifinals:
24. But one of the most American things that happened during the World Cup was everyone talking about how they just don't care about the World Cup: