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18 Jokes Only Harry Potter Fans Will Understand

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint Courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures

We're not going to insult the intelligence of Harry Potter fans by alerting any of you that J.K. Rowling (through Rita Skeeter) has written a short story to update us on what the big three have been up to since the end of Deathly Hallows. You know about it. You've read it. You've re-read it. You've talked with your friends about it. You've written fan fiction about it. Basically, you're all over it.

We are here to merely celebrate the return of Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley with some punny inside jokes that only we wizards and witches will get. Muggles need not enter or even pretend to understand. (Spoilers, obviously):

1. The secret horcrux:

Harry Potter Jokes http://borntotouchyourface.tumblr.com/

The sword of Gryffindor can't handle that.

2. Gotta get down on:

Harry Potter Jokes http://www.quora.com/

You had one job, Bellatrix!

3. Broom puns:

Harry Potter Jokes http://cdn.smosh.com/

C'mon. The movie is ripe with these.

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4. The flaw in the plan:

Harry Potter Jokes http://www.quora.com/

J.K. usually covers her plot holes, but we've all thought about this one.

5. Quidditch hottie:

Harry Potter Jokes http://ajtpak.tumblr.com/

Best wizard-to-wizard pickup line ever.

6. Bond, please:

Harry Potter Jokes http://www.quora.com/

You're name has nothing on Dumbledore.

7. Got your nose:

Harry Potter Jokes http://www.quora.com/

Not cool, proffesor:

8. Caffeine spell:

Harry Potter Jokes http://tamaramonster.tumblr.com/

Talk about your instant coffee, right?!

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9. Seriously:

Harry Potter Jokes http://qu33n-ott3r.tumblr.com/

And don't call him Shirley. That was a Harry Potter-Airplane joke, you guys!

10. Draco the complainer:

Harry Potter Jokes http://www.quora.com/

What hasn't your father heard about?

11. Mean Hogwarts:

Voldermort is basically Regina George.

12. Hipster Voldermort:

Harry Potter Jokes http://cdn.smosh.com/

Technically, that's true.

13. How I Met Lily:

Harry Potter Jokes http://www.quora.com

Definitely could have saved pages and pages of backstory.

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14. Noah's a liar:

Harry Potter Jokes http://weheartit.com/

It couldn't possibly have been every day, right Mr. Dursley?

15. The Slytherin House pickup:

Harry Potter Jokes http://cdn.smosh.com/

There is a dirty snake joke in there, too. We're not going to make it.

16. She's a survivor:

Harry Potter Jokes http://domsty.tumblr.com/

This could have been Hermione's theme song. Or the Destiny's Child one.

17. Yo mamma:

Harry Potter Jokes

Harry probably could have just killed Voldermort with his words.

18. Junk mail:

Harry Potter Jokes http://hugelol.com/lol/245716

Do you think they're all just chain letters that threaten you with terrible things if you don't forward it on to at least seven people?

We missed you, world of Harry Potter. And we will jump all over any new information like Ron Weasley jumps on any and all food at any time, so please keep it coming!

Until the next update:

Dumbledore GIF
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PHOTOS: Look back on the best Harry Potter movie moments ever!



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