Despite what she achieved with her bottom half, Heather Mills' top half never quite caught up.
A week after judges recommended ballet lessons to boost her form, the charity fundraiser and soon to be ex-Mrs. McCartney was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars Tuesday night.
It looked as if the good will Mills had built up Stateside had finally run its course, considering the 39-year-old Brit was not among the lowest scorers Monday. Instead, bottom-feeders John Ratzenberger and Billy Ray Cyrus lived to boogie another day.
While Mills, who has worn a prosthesis since losing her left leg in a motorcycle accident in 1993, couldn't manage all the steps for what judge Len Goodman would call "a proper jive" (or rumba, Paso Doble, samba, etc.), she more than held her own throughout the past six weeks, winning praise for her "great passion and fire."
A tumble last week at the end of her samba and a so-so Paso Doble last night did her in, however.
"We knew we were going out," Mills said, thanking partner Jonathan Roberts along with the rest of the cast and crew after plucking a prepared speech out of her sparkly dancing dress. "We were in the bottom two last week. We're not surprised." The animal rights champion added that her participation has "raised a fortune for out charity and hundreds of thousands of animals' lives will be saved."
In addition to learning their couples dance, this week the celebs also performed a group swing that allowed them to lift, throw and otherwise toss their partners about, perhaps as a means of exorcising all those midseason frustrations. Six stars still have the chance to hoist that disco ball trophy next month.
As per usual, most of the contestants continued to improve, although no one kicked quite as much butt as Apolo Anton Ohno did last week.
The Olympic speed skater, who achieved the first 30 of the season with his samba, instead scored a 28 with a chair-enhanced rumba that Bruno Tonioli called a "choreographed poem" but Goodman wished had more emphasis on the "two legs and not the four."
Tying Ohno was Laila Ali, whose 28 was announced by cohost Samantha Harris before the judges could rate the boxing champ's cha-cha for the cameras.
Kicking off Ali and partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy's post-performance interview, Harris began—instead of finished—with, "That's a 28 out of 30 for Max and Laila."
In turn, she had to quickly reassure the audience that the judging trio write their scores down several minutes before they show their hands—and that the competition is not rigged or anything unsavory like that.
"I was so excited for them I let the cat out of the bag a little early. But that's how it works, folks," Harris explained.
Also showing how it works was Joey Fatone, who turned in a pelvic thrust-happy samba that rated a 27 and banished all memories of his "feminine" rumba.
"You're a big, swashbuckling guy," Goodman told the singer, making amends for that whole girly man implication last week.
"You're insane, and that reads so well," added Carrie Ann Inaba.
Meanwhile, Ratzenberger and Cyrus turned in 19 and 21-worthy performances that, once again, were heavy on the theatrics and light on skills, and Ian Ziering (24) just can't seem to raise himself out of that middle-of-the-road rut he's been in since week one.
"You have moments of brilliance," Inaba offered before advising him to take a lesson from Cyrus and dance from the heart.
"You can be great but you don't quite get there," Tonioli agreed.
Tuesday's results show also featured two lives tunes from Joss Stone and an appearance from some of the Dreamgirls cast, who performed "Steppin' to the Bad Side."