It's Sunday, y'all, and we've got a new President! Ok, we don't, but the people of Veep's fictional USA do, and she's a doozy. Plus, someone dared to try and attack a giant block of ice with fiery arrows on Game of Thrones, and Mama Joyce is not going to let Kandi's Wedding go off without a hitch. All that and more graced our televisions this evening, and we're here to tell you all about it.
Game of Thrones: It was Wildlings vs. Crows tonight at Castle Black, and no one really came out a winner. Sure, the Night's Watch and its unlikely leader Jon Snow held off their wild enemies for the time being, but it's not going to last long when they're outnumbered a thousand to one. Tonight's battle was bloody, insane, and involved giants riding mammoths, as we're pretty sure all battles should.
We did get very worried when, after a romantic smooch, Sam promised Gilly that he would survive the battle, but he's alive at least for now. Ygritte, however, did not fare so well. After Jon defeated Ygritte's big bald Wildling friend with a hammer, he turned around to find Ygritte and a loaded bow. However, there wasn't time for her to have a romantic change of heart and decide not to kill him before that kid from the wildling-destroyed village shot an arrow straight through her heart. She and Jon reminisced about that day in the cave, and she died while once more telling Jon Snow just how little he knows.
At the end of the episode, Jon decided to head out to kill Mance Rayder in order to stop the fight completely. Next week's season finale looks positively brutal, and we cannot wait.
Veep: In the midst of Selina's presidential campaign, the best fictional VP ever (sorry, Sally Langston) got the best news ever: She's now the President! After the First Lady's suicide attempt in last week's episode, POTUS decided to resign in order to take care of his wife. Of course, it's not all smooth sailing. Selina had to take the oath twice since she neglected to say all of the word "preserve" the first time, she accidentally instructed that the wrong person be fired, which upset relations with Iran, and then she lost New Hampshire in the primaries. But at least she's the President! For now, anyway.
Penny Dreadful: While usually we can get tired of too much backstory, we're not sure that's possible with this show since the past is almost as rich as the present. Tonight we learned that Vanessa's sin was having sex with her best friend's fiancé on a table full of taxidermied animals, and while it's not all that shocking compared to most things this series likes to throw at us, it's still something we'd prefer to never do. We also learned that at some point, a young Vanessa caught her mother getting it on with Sir Malcolm, and found herself intrigued. She later took a terrifying trip to a Victorian mental asylum, and sort of had sex with a ghost version of Sir Malcolm. Basically, every moment of this show has us uttering a version of "OMG!" for some reason or another, and that's just how we like our TV.
Kandi's Wedding: Mama Joyce continued to be just the worst this week, as Todd confronted her about the rumors she'd been trying to spread about his parents' occupations. It didn't go well. Kandi met up with her father, who she hadn't seen all that much, and asked him to preside over the wedding. He was touched, and blamed Mama Joyce for his long separation from his daughter. Mama Joyce called him a cheater and said she chose not to be around him. Mama Joyce refused to give her daughter away at the altar, and basically said Kandi's on her own if Todd is who she's planning to marry. Mama Joyce stepping down? As if.