If we've learned one thing about food, it's that there is such a thing as bad pizza and it's called Papa John's.
But if we've learned two things, it's that it's wrong—nay, cruel to simply pose with delicious food and not eat it. Especially if you are a model and have a perfect body, because when you take a photo of yourself with food and act like you're about to go all gluttonous on it, no one believes you. And the people that do inhale doughnuts and pasta on the regular are deeply insulted.
And that is why we love the Instagram account called YouDidNotEatThat, run by an anonymous woman who reposts photos of models, actresses and bloggers who are posing with fattening foods as if they are going to eat all those calories. Most likely they are not, and she has had enough of your bulls--t.
"Speaking the truth in this mixed up world of too many macarons and ice cream cones used as props," reads the account description.
Now we know that lots of people have really fast metabolisms and can basically eat whatever they want and remain itty-bitty. We call those people witches and we stare at them while whispering, "What is this sorcery?"
But honestly, some of the women and men she calls out are acting like they're about to ingest a box of doughnuts or a sloppy cheeseburger and they look just ridiculous:
"LOOK AT THE FEAR IN HER EYES AT THIS OUTRAGEOUS COOKIE MERELY TOUCHING HER LIPS!!"
"Bella Thorne + an alleged doughnut on a stick + that crop top = the expression on the girl on the left."
"Anyone else notice that she's posing like her mouth is full but the burger is 100% intact?"
"What he really wants to know is if those cupcakes are Paleo approved."
"Apparently there's an unspoken rule that all aerial shots of (uneaten) food require a dose of Valentino. And a trash can just out of frame."
"A special thank you to our reader who pointed out that we have a 'mouth full pose' here on Rosie but the rib is completely intact. Not one bite taken. Bravo."
"Is it just us or is the chocolate bar larger than the bikini bottom? Also...what? What is this shoot even for?"
"Now that's one natural stance.#neverseennutellabefore"
"Yes this photo really says 'big plate of nachos'"
People! Stop posing with fattening food! Those are not props. Those are delicious items that must be devoured! We understand that you work hard for your figure and you have every right to look the way you do. Just don't go around pretending you eat the stuff you are posing with. You don't have to pretend. We'll still like you if you pose with salads.
In related news, we are thinking of starting an Instagram account called "WeAbsolutelyDidEatThat" and we will feature photos of us and other folk pigging out on delicious food. We call those folks "our kind of people."