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Hey, now: The King of All Media has found his new queen.

Howard Stern—make that Howard A. Stern the shock jock and not the Anna Nicole Smith hanger-on—announced Wednesday that he's gotten engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Beth Ostrosky.

Stern, 53, said that he popped the question to the 34-year-old model-actress Tuesday night by first asking her another, namely,  "Do you want your Valentine's Day gift now?"

Stern went on to detail the R-rated romantic encounter (in uncensored detail on his Sirius Satellite Radio show, natch), wherein he insisted his betrothed to strip down before he surprised her with the ring.

Ostrosky first protested, Stern claimed, arguing that she was too fat. Stern said he knew then that proposing was the right thing to do, as "any girl who looks like that and thinks she's fat—I've got a chance with her."

She eventually relented and disrobed, at which point Stern produced a 5.2-carat Richie Winick diamond ring and whispered his own version of sweet nothings in her ear.

"I love you," he said, per his radio show play-by-play. "You're everything to me. This is so gay...I'm asking you to spend the rest of your life with me."

After Ostrosky's affirmative reply, and the couple's consummation of the milestone, Stern said he phoned the father of the would-be bride to ask permission for her hand. He agreed, with one caveat: "Never call me Dad."

Stern, who has repeatedly claimed on his morning radio show that he would never get married again, added that no wedding date has yet been set, but that he anticipates a very long engagement.

It will be the second marriage for Stern and the first for Ostrosky, a Pittsburgh native who ranked as high as 34 on FHM magazine's list of 100 Sexiest Women. Her credits include small roles in Flirting with Disaster with Ben Stiller and Whipped with Amanda Peet, and she most recently appeared as host of the G4 series Filter.

Stern and Ostrosky met in 2001, a year after Stern separated from his wife of 20 years, Alison.

The couple currently live together in an apartment on Manhattan's Upper West Side and share custody of Stern's three daughters from his first marriage.