It was the conscious uncoupling head ‘round the world. Or read around the world, after arriving in your inbox via a GOOP newsletter (and here you thought the GOOP newsletter would just help you pick the right juice cleanse for you, or suggest the most fashionable pair of $800 pants. Nope, it's filled with SCANDAL).
While both Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow have remained fairly quiet on the topic since then, Coldplay's new album, Ghost Stories, is out today and the stories seem to be about one ghost in particular: Future-ex-wife Gwynie. We listened to the entire album and picked out all the lyrics that might be about her (which wasn't that difficult, because Coldplay songs have like 13 words in them).
The Typical Breakup Stuff:
"My body moves / Goes where I will / But though I try / My heart stays still / It never moves / Just won't be left / So my mouth waters to be fed / And you're always in my head." — "Always in My Head"
"Call it magic, call it true / I call it magic when I'm with you / And I just got broken, broken into two / Still I call it magic, when I'm next to you." — "Magic"
"Remember once upon a time / What I was yours and you were blind / The first would sparkle in your eyes / And mine." — "True Love"
"A flock of birds / Hovering above / Just a flock of birds / That's how you think of love / And I always look up to the sky / Pray before the dawn / ‘Cause they fly always / Sometimes they arrive / Sometimes they are gone / They fly on." — "O"
Everyone (Still) Loves Gwyneth:
"And if you were to ask me / After all that we've been through / ‘Still believe in magic?' / Yes, I do." — "Magic"
"I don't care / Go on and tear me apart / I don't care if you do / Cause in a sky / Cause in a sky full of stars / I think I saw you...Cause you're a sky / Cause you're a sky full of stars / I want to die in your arms / Cause you get lighter / The more it gets darker / I'm going to give you my heart." — "A Sky Full of Stars"
What (Maybe) Went Wrong:
"See the road begin to climb / See your stars begin to shine / I see your colors / And I'm dying of thirst / All I know is that I love you so / So much that it hurts." — "Ink"
"For a second, I was in control / I had it once, I lost it though / And all along the fire below / Would rise." — "True Love"
"And I wish you could have let me know / What's really going on below / I've lost you now, you let me go." — "True Love"
"Behind the walls, love / I'm trying to change / I'm ready for it all, love / I'm ready for the change." — "Oceans"
Our Unqualified Lyrical Analysis: Gwyneth has been a movie star since the two married, but now she's ACADEMY AWARD WINNING LIFESTYLE BLOGGER AND GLEE GUEST STAR GWYNETH PALTROW. Perhaps the, "See your stars begin to shine" line references an increase in fame, while "I see your colors" shows that fame truly does change people. Either way, it seems they were too different people ("Behind the walls, love / I'm trying to change") and ultimately, a lack of communication may have led to their demise ("I wish you could have let me know / What's really going on below"). But no one should be surprised, because there have been signs of trouble for a while now, within the coupling ("All along the fire below / Would rise") and outside (all that bitch face at the Golden Globes).
(Again, we don't know. We didn't write these songs, we're just overanalyzing them.)
SCANDAL SCANDAL SCANDAL:
"Last night watching T.V. / Used to be you here beside me / Used to be your arms around me / Your body on my body / When the world means nothing to me / Another's arms / When the pain just rips right through me / Another's arms." — "Another's Arms"
Our Unqualified Lyrical Analysis: Hmm. Who is Chris Martin referring to when he sings about seeking solace in someone else's arms? Well, there have been RUMORS that he's dating Alexa Chung (they went out together recently). There were also RUMORS that they two were in an open marriage all along. There were a lot of UNFOUNDED, SPECULATORY RUMORS. So what is it you're trying to say here, Mr. Gwyneth Paltrow? We shall not even tempt a guess, lest we be rumor mongers.
Sounds juicy though...
Anything to add, Gwyneth?