Helen Sloan/courtesy of HBO
Helen Sloan/courtesy of HBO
While last Sunday had nipple cutting and badassery all around, this week was a tad more understated, though Game of Thrones did finally get rid of another completely crazy person. There were also a couple of hookups, a couple of big decisions, and Amazing Race: All-Stars crowned some winners! Sure, it's basically the start of another week, but when that week is filled with more insane finales, who can really complain? Warning, spoilers ahead!
Game of Thrones: We knew the moment that creepy kid Robin started bragging to Sansa (who is a surprisingly skilled snow-castle-builder) about the moon door that someone was going to fall through it by episode's end, and we were right! Luckily, it was one of the crazier people this show has to offer, and not the put upon Sansa Stark, who would certainly not have deserved an end like that despite the fact that she slapped Robin and allowed Littlefinger to kiss her. It was that second offense that nearly prompted her aunt Lysa to send her flying, but Littlefinger intervened. He then told Lysa that he had only ever loved one woman—Catelyn Stark—before pushing Lysa through the moon door and to her certain death.
In King's Landing, Tyrion received a series of visitors to bring him some not great news. Jaime was pissed that Tyrion had thrown away his chance to live with his little speech at the trial and Bronn refused to be his champion in the duel thanks to Cersei basically buying him off. Luckily, Prince Oberyn stepped in to offer to represent Tyrion in the duel against Cersei's terrifying champion—The Mountain.
In Meereen, Daario was complaining to Dany that he couldn't exercise either of his two talents while held up in the city. What are his two talents, you ask? Killing people and seducing the ladies, and there was only one lady he wanted. So Dany instructed him to take off his clothes and they proceeded to get jiggy with it, before she ordered him to go take over another city and execute all of its masters. You know, typical Khaleesi pillow talk. Jorah did manage to change her mind a little bit, so she modified the order slightly to executing the masters only if they won't join her new world order, of which we're slowly becoming a little bit afraid.
Elsewhere, Jon got basically laughed at for suggesting they close off the tunnel to at least slow down the inevitable wildling war, while the Hound gave Ayra a lesson in murder. In happier news, Brienne and Podrick (who are quickly overtaking Ayra and the Hound as this show's best comedic duo) discovered that Arya might actually be alive and decide that Riverrun is their best bet for finding either of the missing Stark girls.
The Mentalist: Jane and Lisbon are…(drumroll please)…together! We were feeling a bit of a Friends flashback as Jane raced to the airport to win over his lady love and prevent her from flying to DC with Pike. He ended up having to run onto the tarmac and up onto the plane to profess his love, which later landed him in an interrogation room. In the end, it was Lisbon he was sitting across from and this uber exciting season six ended as they leaned across the table, presumably to mash their faces into one another, as they should.
Mad Men: So nobody sliced off their nipple this week, but we did get a bit of a burger craving as Peggy worked her ass off on the Burger Chef campaign, only to be told by Pete that Don should be the one to present the pitch. Basically, Pete wins tonight's award for "Sexist Jerkface," as he also got pissed at Trudy for being out canoodling instead of taking care of their child, while he was also out super-canoodling with his own girlfriend. Meanwhile, Bob outright proposed to Joan in an attempt to look like the executive he wants to be, and she laid down some truths: He's gay, and they both deserve a chance at real love. The award for sweetest moment of the episode goes to Don and Peggy slow dancing in the office, which was his way of comforting her after she deemed herself a doomed old maid. Also: Megan's in town, but mostly only to buy new summer clothes, because of course.
The Amazing Race: We don't think this season could have ended any more sweetly—and any less excitingly. After having to withdraw from season 22 when Dave tore his Achilles tendon, father and son and cancer-surviving duo Dave and Connor came back for the All-Star season and won the entire thing. We're completely thrilled with the win, but that wasn't a very exciting finale. We're not even inspired enough to make a joke about how many Amazing Race contestants it takes to screw in 241 light bulbs, because we can't really think of one that makes sense. We are, however, slightly inspired to go night skydiving so we can pretend we're a firework, so we can show ‘em what we're worth.
Penny Dreadful: Tonight we got to hang out with Dorian Gray, who was perfectly creepy. He participated in a séance—you know, that classic party game—along with Malcolm and Vanessa. Vanessa was the one who seemed to get the full force of the spirits, losing her mind and delivering a massively entertaining and supremely horrifying speech before taking to the alley to have sex with a rando. Plus, Frankenstein's adorable monster picked the Shakespearean name of Proteus and went on some sight-seeing adventures, before being ripped in two by the bare hands of a man claiming to be Victor's first born, who doesn't seem to be on the greatest terms with his dad.
What did you watch on Sunday night? Sound off in the comments!