Look, we love you. And you are obviously very, very handsome. But sometimes, your Instagram photos make us feel…weird. We can't quite put our finger on it, but there is just something about the MS paint scrawling, bedroom selfies and Ryan Gosling obsession that makes us want to click "unfollow" 19 times.
And then you went ahead and posted (and then deleted) the above photo where you are holding your junk. You look sweaty, probably because you were just jumping rope, as you claim in the caption. Most people were probably going nuts over this nearly naked photo. We just felt uncomfortable. It might be time to think about your social media choices.
1. Your bedroom eyes borderline on a threatening glare.
2. You use Ryan Gosling memes quite a lot. For example, on his birthday, he made this one for himself. Gosling pops up a lot in your Instagram. Not that we blame you, because it's Ryan Gosling. But um...is there an inside joke we're missing about all these self-made Ryan memes?
3. The only way to make your MS Paint drawing creepier...
4. ...is to be pantless.
5. When you caption your photos with a scolding (like the one above: "I can't believe you didn't show up!")...who are you yelling at? Also, stop yelling.
6. Seriously, stop glaring at us.
7. While we apprecaite you sharing your workouts, why do you look pantless? Are you actually in underwear or in some special workout spandex? These are questions we don't want to ask ourselves while cruising your Instagram.
8. Nope, get your thumb outta your mouth.
9. What is it about this photo that makes us feel dirty? Is it the nipples? The coffee cup? The after-sex hair?
10. Shirtless and sad. And that makes us sad.
11. We assume those aren't patches of human flesh under your eyes, but you never know.
12. We like zero things about this photo.
13. James clearly thinks very highly of himself, and he isn't afraid to show it Photoshop it.
14. After some thorough research, we think the creepy factor comes in mostly when your captions are all upbeat and happy, and then you put it next to a really solemn, angsty selfie. For example, this photo was captioned with you happily talking up your sold-out Broadway show. So why do you look like you're going to cry yourself to sleep?
James, we like you too much to be creeped out by your Instagram. And you're too talented. So get your Instagram life together. And stop hitting on 17-year-olds.