We know, we know, you were way too busy to watch TV tonight due to your intense watching and re-watching of Mean Girls in celebration of its 10th anniversary. We get it, and we wish that we too could live the superbly grool and free-time-filled life you clearly lead, but alas, we here at TV Scoop have to live in the real world, the world where hooded vigilantes are forced to make sacrifices to save the ones they love and where Chicago is in such a crisis that it requires the help of two TV shows at the same time. Just kidding, The Real World is a show on MTV and we live in a universe populated by beautiful people having a lot of dramatic moments set to well-chosen popular music, but we're still jealous of all of your Mean Girls watching, imaginary person we're talking to. No, we're not losing our minds. You're losing your mind! Wait, Mean Girls is on Netflix and we can watch it literally whenever we want? Ok then. Television!
Law & Order SVU: The saga of the Beast is officially over for Olivia Benson...or is it? Just kidding, it is. The episode followed the aftermath of William Lewis' rampage through New York that ended with him kidnapping a young girl and Benson. He took his own life at the end of last episode, but made it look like Benson shot him in the head. Even in death he created a nightmare for Benson. IAB investigated the events and tried to get Benson to cop to justified homicide in Lewis' death. She refused, and IAB eventually relented and said there wasn't enough evidence to dispute Benson's (accurate) account of the events. That's when the Brooklyn prosecutor came in. He convened a grand jury investigation, hoping to uncover police corruption and cover up in the death of Lewis. During all this, Benson had a breakthrough with her therapist about why she does what she does.
It wasn't looking good for our fearless heroine for a while and she even told Lt. Murphy she was getting ready to turn in her papers rather than have more of her life ruined. She refused to testify about her public confession about beating Lewis in the season 15 premiere, but the new lieutenant came through and perjured himself, telling the grand jury he ordered her to make the "false" confession to draw Lewis out. Benson's still on the job.
Arrow: We barely saw tonight's episode through last week's leftover tears (RIP Moira Queen), but we think we might have glimpsed Laurel Lance doing something! She bugged Sebastian Blood, figured out that he's been working with Slade and knew Moira was going to be killed, and then went to Oliver with the information. And that's not all! She insisted on tagging along with Team Arrow as they raced to defeat Blood, Slade, and their army of mirakuru'd minions. She even sort of saved Oliver's life by distracting a guard! Congratulations on doing things, Laurel! You're moving up in the world.
Alan Zenuk/The CW
Elsewhere in Starling City, things are not at all looking good for Thea. Her dad was not her dad, her ex-boyfriend tried to kill her, her mother was killed in front of her, and her newly depressed brother was nowhere to be found at the funeral. Then, Isabel Rochev returned from the "dead" to evict her and her night club, not for the fact that the owner of the night club was a barely legal teenager, but because Queen Consolidated still owns the building. We do not blame Thea one bit for trying to get out of town, and she couldn't even manage to do that, thanks to the appearance of a mirakuru dude in the train station.
Bonus: Felicity Freaking Smoak, badass lady and adorable nerd, can convince us not to sacrifice ourselves for the good of our friends and family and city any day of the week.
American Idol: We're about to get into some deep summertime sadness about the fact that there are only three more weeks left in Season 13, especially since we did not want to miss a thing during tonight's live Top 5 performance episode. Did you catch that? We made references to not one, but two of the songs performed on the show tonight. We're amazing. Anyway, not only was the Idol stage visited by both Ariana Grande and Zooey Deschanel this evening, but somebody sang one of our favorite songs! That's right, we're giving Jena Irene 10,000 imaginary TV Scoop points for singing "Valerie," after a fan's video suggestion. Remember when Naya Rivera sang that on Glee? Good times. Note: We may or may not base the majority of our "best performance" decisions on whether or not they sang one of our favorite songs. The good news is that we have a lot of favorite songs!
Survivor: We still can't decide if Tony is our favorite or least favorite player ever, but we are quite sure that we'd like him to stop finding all of the idols, because we're honestly kind of bored with his relentless success. This week, it was time for the auction. Trish, Jefra, Kass, and Woo quickly loaded up on food while Spencer, Tasha, and Tony waited it out, until Tony ended up with the $500 advantage and a clue to another idol. Spencer managed to convince Tony that there was a lady alliance forming against him, which was good for Spencer, because when it came down to him and Jefra, Jefra was then the one to go. Is this not the silliest, most awesome season of Survivor ever? The answer is yes and we love it.
So what did you guys watch tonight? Did we get your favorites? Can we get you anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let us know in the comments!