Rex USA, Stephen Lovekin/Getty ImagesGeorge Clooney, Mr. Hollywood Bachelor himself, is engaged and set to walk down the aisle with his girlfriend of seven months Amal Alamuddin. Is it just us, or does the air smell faintly of bacon? It must be those pigs flying around in the air. Free bacon, everyone!
Seriously, this is a celeb engagement story we never thought we'd be writing about. In fact, here is everything we thought would happen before we'd be reading headlines about George Clooney's second marriage:
1. Leonardo DiCaprio winning an Oscar.
2. A DC Comics-Marvel crossover movie.
3. Someone on Game of Thrones saying "Winter is coming" and then winter actually arriving.
R.I.P. Ned.
4. The Internet forgetting about cats.
5. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart getting back together and going on a tell-all tour about their relationship.
6. The ABC cross-dressing sitcom Work It getting a reboot.
7. People being "totally over" using GIFs on the Internet.
8. Jennifer Aniston getting married again.
9. No one tweeting about Scandal on a Thursday night.
10. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin consciously recoupling.
11. Shia LaBeouf signing on for another three Transformers movies.
12. Justin Bieber getting his act together.
13. The world turning on Jennifer Lawrence and Anne Hathaway suddenly becoming America's sweetheart.
14. Jay Leno replacing Jimmy Fallon as the host of The Tonight Show.
15. Katie Holmes writing a memoir about her years with Tom Cruise.
16. Blackberry smartphones making a comeback and outselling iPhones.
17. Food coming to a dinner table and no one Instagramming it with the hashtag #foodporn.
18. Justin Timberlake announcing an 'N Sync tour and that he was the one who first suggested it.
19. American Idol finally ending.
BBNAM (Bring back Nicki and Mariah).
20. Michael Bay not using a single explosion in one of his movies.
21. Someone saying, "I think Zac Efron should stop being naked and/or shirtless."
22. A movie being greenlit based on the Internet quiz "Which Swiss Cheese Hole Are You?"
23. Hell freezing over.
But it happened! And we are so happy for them. Congrats, you two crazy kids!