Sorry, pervs. No nip slips here. Just a Buffalo Bandits lacrosse cheerleader, called a Bandette, getting an oversized jersey stuck on her head during a dance routine and continuing to hit all her marks while looking like a sexy cheer ghost. It's hilarious.
(But seriously, we give her props for continuing on like nothing happened, even though you can clearly tell her attempts to wrestle the shirt off her head while not missing a move is not going well. What a pro.)
AP Photo/Mike Groll
Meanwhile, elsewhere in Buffalo, members of the football cheerleading squad (the Jills, who cheer for the Bills—get it?) are currently involved in a lawsuit against the team over allegedly violating labor laws.
As part of the lawsuit, Deadspin obtained a copy of the "NFL Buffalo Jills Cheerleaders Agreement and Codes of Conduct 2013-2014," a step-by-step guide to hygiene, etiquette and more rules and regulations of being an NFL cheerleader.
Deadspin singled out this passage, which describes how to take care of your lady hygiene:
"When menstruating, use a product that [sic] right for your menstrual flow. A tampon too big can irritate and develop fungus. A product left in too long can cause bacteria or fungus build up. Products can be changed at least every 4 hours. Except when sleeping, they can be left in for the night."
But we prefer the part that goes into far too much detail on how to hold a conversation, because "act like a human being" is apparently a bit too vague:
14. Do not be overly opinionated about anything. Do not complain about anything- ever hang out with a whiner? It's exhausting and boring.
18. Do not use slang in conversations. Never use words/phrases such as: "like", "I seen it", "You's guys", "dude", "them guys" "pee" & "ain't".
30. Always say "excuse me" when you burp, sneeze or cough. Even if you think there isn't anyone around.
Always avoid: Politics, Religion, Sexual references, Talking "about last night", Don't try talk about your personal life: job, boyfriends, what you're doing later, etc…, Inappropriate jokes, Strong opinions, Gossip, Saying "I" or "me" too often.
Pardon our French, but what the f--k does that leave there to talk about? YEAH, there's nothing more boring than a whiner. Except maybe a robot cheerleader who can literally only talk about, what? Being a cheerleader? And that's assuming she doesn't have strong opinions about that...