Did you know that the person who invented the Koosh ball came up with the idea when he was drunk?
OK, maybe we made that up, but sometimes the thoughts you have while intoxicated can lead to wonderful things. And sometimes the ideas you have after a night of drinking lead to you breaking into a salon to eat all the Hot Pockets.
Either way, a drunk person's mind is a deep ocean of secrets (yeah, that's a line from Titanic. Deal with it). And Reddit wanted to know the kind of crap its users came up with whilst inebriated. The results are some of the dumbest (and also some of the most genius) ideas we've ever heard:
1. "Phoned Pespi Co. at 2am to tell them my idea for a new beverage in their SoBe line: a calming soft drink called SoBe-it. When life is bringing you down, SoBe-it."
2. "Well, I was convinced that laminating an egg would turn out great. I imagined it would come out as a flat laminated sunny side up. To my big surprise the machine immediately stopped working when we cracked the egg in the laminator and it began to smoke. It was a great disappointment as I had already imagined the laminated egg decorating my wall."
3. "I was backyard drinking with two neighbors, who lived about five houses down from each other. One had a garage he wanted to tear down, one had no garage but wanted one. We spent about three hours very drunk-seriously discussing how we could jack up the garage and somehow roll it Egyptian-slave-style down the alley and set it down on the other guys property."
4. "I wanted to test the pole scene from A Christmas Story. It worked. My tongue was bleeding for a good 3 hours."
5. "To help cut back on smoking, I thought it would be awesome if I could build a Breathalyzer equipped cigarette dispenser that only dispensed cigarettes when you were drunk."
6. "I was really drunk and my wife had made tacos and I really wanted them in me but I couldn't get the stuff into the actual taco. I came up with an idea I called the 'Taco Speculum' which was just a little cardboard funnel I made that I filled with taco fixins and then used the edge of a magazine to push the stuff into the shell. I was sure I'd be a millionaire."
7. "A sitcom called 'Shoes the Boss.' The main character had a different pair of shoes for every conceivable situation and would change them frequently throughout the show as he went from place to place. I was sure it would be a hit."
8. "I'd been watching a TV program where a main character was really manipulative, but no one had realized yet. I genuinely thought that I was going to go down to the studio the next week and shout out to the actors during filming that this lady was a bitch. After this happened they'd all know and they'd have to change the storyline. I saw absolutely no problem with this scenario."
9. "I became convinced that our generation was the first to be heavily into partying, and so I started writing a song about how much we like to party. It was sure to be a hit. 'We, like, to party. We like, we like to party. We, like, to party. We like, we like to party.' I'm humming this to myself and actually seriously think I'm on to something original, when my (sober) friend hears, realizes what's going on, and starts laughing at me. Eventually he explains to me what I've done. I am crestfallen."
10. "Butter Knife Fight Night."
11. "A few weeks ago I came home from a night of heavy drinking with a friend.However, we arrived at my door and somehow I thought it would be a great idea to pay my door for letting me in, so I tried to shove a bill into the groove between the door and the door case. Needless to say that my door didn't want to let me in, no matter how much I would pay her. Luckily my friend was sober enough to ask for my keys after a few minutes. Without him I guess I would have slept outside this night."
12. "Hamburger Earmuffs."
13. "I had a fever vision that I thought would be perfect. I thought up a video rental system that would work through vending machines. I was sure it would work, the only kink I needed to work out was the raccoon that I was convinced would live in this machine to get the movies would attack people using it. When I told my parents about this idea, they told me it would never work."
14. "I was tired of having to walk around everywhere all the time and thought it would be a great idea if someone could invent some sort of device where you could just sit down and have your friends push you around instead. Then it occurred to me that that is called a wheelchair."
15. "I was coming home late one night. Walked into the house and realized I had to clean the cats litter box. I really didn't want to but I figured I may as well get it out of the way. Then I thought of something. Imagine if scientists could create a cat that didn't poo. The poopless cat! Wow I thought I was a genius."
16. "We should open a bar."
Hey, what's the dumbest idea you've come up with while drunk? If your answer is something along the lines of "coming to this website," then don't even bother putting that in your comment. We're way ahead of your insult, but we appreciate the effort.