If we wanted vegetables with our ice cream, we would eat veggies instead of ice cream. Except we would never, ever do something like that!
Which is why we were a little perturbed (what a great word, right?) to read the news that Häagen-Dazs has released two new flavors in Japan that are supposed to be a little healthier for us and basically trick us into eating vegetables while we eat ice cream. The new flavors are part of the launch of their new series called SpoonVege. Does anything about that phrase sound appetizing? The answer is: absolutely not.
The two new flavors Häagen-Dazs has created are…wait for it…Tomato Cherry and Carrot Orange. We have big issues with this for a couple of reasons:
1. These sound like smoothie flavors, not ice cream flavors.
2. We do not want to eat an ice cream salad, which is basically what these are.
3. What in the hell are they doing?
We could maybe, just maybe get behind Carrot Orange, only because carrot cake is a dessert and we could kind of see that becoming an ice cream flavor. But don't try and tell us tomatoes belong in ice cream, because we will backhand you across the face.
Don't get us wrong, tomatoes and cherries and carrot and citrus go great together; just don't put it in our ice cream and call it a decadent dessert. To us, Häagen-Dazs means treating ourselves to something sugary and fattening, and there's usually chocolate involved. We are not that interested in ice cream that sounds like it came from the dessert round of a Chopped episode.
Well, maybe Japan will appreciate the new flavors, which are being released on May 12. The Häagen-Dazs Japan Facebook page is even having a contest where you can win one of the 100 cartons they are giving away.
But when the prize is veggie-flavored ice cream, does anyone truly win?
Real talk: do these ingredients sound like they would taste good as ice cream? Not as a granita. Not as shaved ice. Not as a popsicle. We're talking about ice cream here. So would any of you eat these new flavors?