Cupcake vending machines are old news. And now that we have burrito vending machines too, it makes sense that a marijuana vending machine couldn't be too far behind. Where the munchies go, the pot follows. Well, they're here.
Colorado unveiled its first weed vending machine this weekend on the patio of Montana's Smokehouse in Avon. Good news for the stoner-on-the-go: The ZaZZZ machine will dispense all your favorite edibles, quick and easy! Bad news: Only if you have a medical license and valid ID.
Here are all the reasons we can think of that you would need weed this fast:
• Last-minute tickets to a Dave Matthews Band concert.
• You just drove past a White Castle.
• You realized all of Spongebob Squarepants in on Netflix.
• Celebrating Easter with your family. (Easters on 4/20 this year, y'all! It's Weedster!)
• You stole a bunch of weed from the Mexican cartel, then smoked all that weed and are on the run and you have to replace the pot you stole and then smoked before a cartel member kills your family in front of you, then cuts off your balls, then kills you. (That might be the plot of a movie we saw.)
Marijuana vending machines arrived in L.A. last year, but they were kept behind counters and only accessed by dispensary workers. This is the first vending machine customers can access directly.
"Many people could look at this and say ‘Eh, that's just a vending machine,' Stephen Shearin, founder of American Green, told Fox 31 Denver. "They'd be partially right, but mostly wrong." (What?)
Meanwhile, Greg Honan, owner of Herbal Elements, the company who will supply the edibles, says the machines will "eliminate the middle man," before explains something about no theft and a bud tender, which is apparently a job. (Huh?!)
"Nothing will be sold out of the machine until we're 100 percent confident that all rules and compliance are being followed," Greg claims.
Here's how the rules and compliances work, according to Stephen (via The Cannabist):
It uses the same technology that checks age/ID fraud under the Control Meth Act. Your identity is confirmed against active biometrics...People will be authorized in medical facilities before entry. Hence, internal checks will only bolster security and accounting for state and dispensary alike.
"The future is outside and we're pretty exciting about it," Stephen continued. "I don't think we've dreamed what it can do yet. That's the whole point. You start with this, then you start making your way into the future."
Which sounds like something a stoner would say. Because what does it even mean?