STAYIN' ALIVE: E! Entertainment Television forcing sworn enemies Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie to work together for yet another season of The Simple Life. (In the interest of full disclosure, E! Entertainment and E! Online are divisions of E! Networks, which sorta, kinda makes Paris and Nicole our coworkers as well as each others'. Um, that's hot?)
DADDY DEAREST: Jon Voight telling People magazine he is "looking forward" to meeting his new granddaughter, but admitting he has not spoken to Angelina Jolie in two years. At this point, we'd put his odds on meeting Shiloh about even with yours.
SAY WHAT?! "If you saw the tree, you'd realize the joke. Fiji is not just made of coconut trees. It was a little tree."
--Keith Richards, finally setting the record straight about the tree from which he fell in April, injuring his head badly enough that he required surgery to relieve pressure on his brain
HOST WITH THE MOST: Jessica Simpson cohosting the eighth annual Teen Choice Awards on Aug. 20, giving awkward teenage girls everywhere even more reason to despise themselves.
LOOTED IDEAS? Hollywood screenwriter Royce Matthews suing numerous individuals and companies involved with making Pirates of the Caribbean: The Black Pearl, claiming the film borrowed images and concepts from materials he shopped to various agencies in the '90s for a project he called Super Natural Pirate Movie. Sounds like someone's trying to dip into Pirates' record-setting treasure chest.
PART OF THE FAMILY: Sally Field joining the cast of ABC's new drama, Brothers and Sisters. They like her, they really like her.
LIFE AFTER CBS: Dan Rather signing on to make the weekly news show Dan Rather Reports for HDNet Network, a small network available through some cable and satellite providers that offer high definition. At least he's not auditioning for The View.
FACE PLANT: Keri Russell's latest mission? Impossible glamor. CoverGirl TV ads starring the actress as spokesmodel for Outlast Double Lipshine debuting this month.
IDOL ME THIS: Auditions for the sixth season of American Idol beginning in Los Angeles next month and traveling to San Antonio, East Rutherford, New Jersey, Birmingham, Memphis, Minneapolis and Seattle. Time to get in touch with your inner Taylor Hicks...or your inner William Hung.
LUSH HOUR: A Hong Kong newspaper reporting that a drunken Jackie Chan interrupted a concert by Taiwanese singer-songwriter Jonathan Lee Monday night by jumping onstage and demanding a duet with Lee. What an intoxicated martial-arts star asks for, an intoxicated martial-arts star gets, apparently.
LIFE ON THE DIVORCE LIST: Kathy Griffin trying to claw her way onto the C-list by appearing on Larry King Live to reveal that her marriage ended because her ex-husband Matthew Moline stole $72,000 from her. Sadly, no one cares.
UNDER THE KNIFE: LeAnn Rimes canceling three concerts this week because she is to undergo surgery for a leg infection, her rep said Monday. How do you live without her? You'll figure something out.
TRIAL FILE: Michael Jackson's former attorney, Zia Modabber testifying Monday that Jackson tried to fire F. Marc Schaffel as producer of the doomed 9-11 charity single, "What More Can I Give," after learning of his background in the gay porn industry. Modabber said he broke the news to Jackson by showing him footage of Schaffel at an adult-film shoot.
REMEMBERED: Syd Barrett, the troubled cofounder of Pink Floyd, who lived out the last years of his life as an anonymous recluse, has died, a spokeswoman for the band said Tuesday. He was 60.
CODA: Milan Williams, an original member of the Commodores, died Sunday in Houston after a battle with cancer. He was 58.
PASSING: Screen legend June Allyson, film's "perfect wife," who starred opposite James Stewart, Van Johnson and other movie heroes, died Saturday after a long illness, her daughter said. She was 88.