What you're smelling is pure desperation.
It already has huge ratings. Now Desperate Housewives is getting a signature scent this fall. Perfume purveyor Coty Inc. is teaming up with Touchstone Television to develop a fragrance inspired by the hit show, ABC announced Friday.
"We've seen a tremendous response to Desperate Housewives products made available to date, so expanding the franchise into the world of fragrance makes perfect sense," Bruce Gersh, senior vice president of business development at ABC Entertainment and Touchstone Television, said in a statement.
With an average of 23.1 million rabid fans tuning in each week, ABC has plenty of potential customers. The network's online store offers goodies ranging from a crystal ring based on one worn by Susan (Teri Hatcher) to the Desperate Housewives "Dirty Laundry" game. There's also an apple-shaped kitchen timer, so you'll know when the gardener is ready for his bath.
And the neighborhood keeps growing. Last week Buena Vista Television Latin America announced plans for four new versions of the Golden Globe-winner to be made in Spanish and Portuguese. The American version is already a multi-hemisphere hit in Australia, New Zealand, Italy, the UK, Singapore, South Africa and Germany. The show debuted in China in December, with Mandarin subtitles.
While Coty has collaborated on signature fragrances with Celine Dion and Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, this is the first time the company has created a perfume based on a TV show.
"Given Coty's outstanding track record in the fragrance market, the Desperate Housewives scent is guaranteed to be a hit with women everywhere," Gersh said.
"Only Coty and our passionate team of experts could capture the essence and attitude of the most distinctive, daring show on television today," Bernd Beetz, CEO of Coty, said in a statement.
So will the scent be sultry and rich like Eva Longoria's Gabrielle? Crisp and clean like Marcia Cross' Bree? Or maybe it will smell like the grass of all those neatly manicured lawns.
Coty and ABC promise it will be "as complex, beautiful and sexy as the women of Wisteria Lane."
Just so long as it doesn't blackmail you or sleep with your husband.