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42 Tweets That Prove Martha Stewart Might Be the Weirdest Person on Twitter

Martha Stewart Living Magazine, Halloween Martha Stewart Living Magazine

If you aren't following Martha Stewart on Twitter, you're not just wasting your own time, you are wasting all of our time. Because @MarthaStewart (it's verified) is a treasure trove of crazy. She's like that aunt who is just learning to use the Internet and keeps accidentally commenting on your Facebook statuses. Or like an alien who's trying to learn the English language in order to blend in until the time is right.

Let's keep an eye on Martha Stewart.

Here is a deep dive of 42 of her weirdest tweets:

1. This tweet, about whether you have ever seen a horse get a tooth pulled? HAVE YOU?

You have now.

2. You've probably seen her food tweets already? They're not great.

3. So fragrant!

4. So fragrant...

5. At first, she would just get defensive about her food photography:

6. Now she just passes the blame:

7. And she will absolutely not hesitate to shame you about your food:

8. Her punctuation leads to a lot of confusion. Is the magazine called Weddings Cool? Or does Martha think it's cool that a swimsuit model can get married? Hey, it's legal, Martha. Whether you agree with it or not!

9. Martha starts new conversations by establishing that she is starting a new conversation.

10. And this is what she converses about:

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11. Because Martha Stewart is serious about Triscuits.

12. She f--king looooooooooooves Triscuits.

13. She'll tell you what she's wearing. She is wearing gold pants.

14. She will tell you unbelievable things.

15. And keep you up to date on breaking news with helpful resources.

16. Her adjective game is off the chains. When's the last time you used "boisterous" in a tweet?

17. Especially while describing her travels.

18. Such poetry!

19. Such beauty!

20. Most of the pictures she posts look like this:

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21. She's at her best when she's sassy.

22. She refers to herself in the third person and is VERY serious about bloggers.

Martha's Twitter feed is not without questions though...

23. Why wouldn't they be edible, Martha?

24. Does this mean she steals? Does Martha steal??

25. Is she wondering what Marc Jacobs will do next in general? In fashion? Or does she think Marc Jacobs is a terrorist and is going to hijack the flight??

26. How would we know, Martha??

27. OH?

28. OK?

29. OK?????

30. A.

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31. Such wrapping!

32. Martha's (ongoing?) feud with Apple is everyone's ongoing feud with Apple:

33.

34.

35.

36.

37. It's fun to hear about her famous friends: What do you think Blake Lively and Chevy Chase talked about?! What could Blake Lively and Chevy Chase possibly have to talk about??

38. Actually, all of her celebrity observations are amazing.

39. She live tweets events and you only understand, at best, half of what is going on.

40. She is an amateur obituary writer.

(This is sad, but what??)

41. You will not follow Martha for free though. She asks of you, the reader. She demands of you: When were you last in a Petsmart?

42. Yes. You can go home, Martha.

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