So we were watching the Oscars last night. And it was fine. Ellen DeGeneres made a great host. Jennifer Lawrence was all Jennifer Lawrence-y. Lupita Nyong'o shimmied along with Pharrell during his performance. It was a pleasant Academy Awards and we were enjoying it at a normal level until…
…until Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Emma Watson walked out to present Best Achievement in Visual Effects. It only took three seconds of watching them together and we literally said out loud to our TV screens:
"Just date, you two!"
It was love at first sight. Not for them (though they probably fell in love instantly), but for us. So it was more like shipping at first sight. It was like a bolt of lightning came down from the heavens and shot us in the heart, letting us know that this was the Hollywood couple that was meant to end all Hollywood couples.
And we were not alone in that feeling.
I completely ship Joseph Gordon Levitt and Emma Watson. Beautiful 500 Days of Potter babies. #Oscars? Dago Blanco (@dagodanger) March 3, 2014
Omg Joseph GORDON LEVITT and Emma Watson need to DATE? Brianna Spencer (@bananamspencer) March 3, 2014
Shipping Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Emma Watson pretty hard right now? Anne Helen Petersen (@annehelen) March 3, 2014
If you want to see the exact, precise moment that the Internet suddenly realized that Emma and Joseph were meant to date, fall in love, get married and have babies together, it was right here:
Wait, no. Not here. But they're just practicing their walk down the aisle. No big deal.
Nope, not here either. Although JGL clearly cannot contain his smile because he knows he is standing next to this future wife.
It wasn't this moment, but Emma is definitely decorating the nursery for their future children in her head. She thinks a pale yellow would look perfect on the walls, and it's gender neutral!
Not quite the exact moment. Can't you tell they are already over presenting and are anxious to go backstage and start falling in love some more?
It wasn't here, either. But look at the stars in Emma's eyes as she looks at Joseph being a silly goose.
There! Right there. That bow to each other. Where he was all like, "You are beautiful and talented and I bow to you." And then she was all like, "No, you are beautiful and talented and I bow to you." And then everyone in the world was all like, "Just bow to each other! Horizontally! In bed!"
What? She has a boyfriend? Psh. What does that have to do with Emma and Joseph? If anything, her boyfriend is being really selfish for keeping Emma away from her one true love.
Just look at this selfie they took backstage. It's the only proof you need:
(If they aren't a confirmed couple by noon PT today, then we will unleash hell.)