The Oscars were on the shorter side tonight, clocking in at a brief three and a half hours. But if you didn't have 210 minutes of your life to set aside to watch actors give actors awards—or if you just need a quick refresher of everything you just saw—here is everything important that happened at the 2014 Academy Awards in just eight words:
(OK, we cheated. It's eight main words and a few words for clarification, emphasis, etc.)
Julia Roberts thought they were hilarious.
Kerry Washington did NOT eat the pizza.
6. And LAWRENCE.
(Lupita won, but Jennifer is the human GIF that kept on giving.)
(12 Years a Slave may have won Best, but Gravity won more.)
But seriously: Congrats 12 Years! Congrats, Gravity! And none for American Hustle, bye!