"Basically, I'm here to announce that we're building Iron Man."
Seriously. President Barack Obama said that during a White House manufacturing innovation event. Sure, he was joking, but we all know that in some way or another, there is truth to that statement.
We didn't get much more info besides Obama revealing that "researchers who invent some of the most advanced metals on the planet; designers who are modeling prototypes in the digital cloud; folks from the Pentagon who help to support their work" are involved with a "secret project we've been working on for a while."
That's enough info for us, though, and we are here to tell the POTUS to stop this immediately.
Of course you were probably excited at first at the idea that there might be an Iron Man protecting our country in the near future, but if we take what happened in Marvel's Iron Man trilogy as gospel (which we do because movies are all based on truth!), then this is an awful, terrible idea.
All the destruction!
In case you missed three Iron Man movies and The Avengers, usually wherever Iron Man goes, destruction follows. Remember that one time Ronald Reagan wanted to build a missile defense system based off Star Wars? Dude wanted to build our own Death Star! Thankfully it didn't pan out (at least as of yet). This is the same situation, and we want to keep our landmarks not blown up, thank you all very much.
Other countries will try and take it from us! Or copy us!
Hello?! Iron Man 2 was all about how other countries were trying (and failing) to build their own Iron Man weapons. That will almost definitely happen if we have our own Iron Man-like device. Everyone would want a piece of that action. No bueno.
Robert Downey Jr. will not be in the suit.
So what's the point?
Villains will rise!
If this Iron Man suit becomes a superhero figure (and he will), then that means all kinds of evil genius villains are going to pop up to fight him (or her because it's 2014 and women can be Iron Man, too). They'll be just like comic book villains...but worse because they'll be real and all up in your Whole Foods and whatnot.
But on the plus side…
Aliens invading? No problem!
If an alien race attacks us with an army of hoverboard-riding soliders and giant worm creatures, we've got that covered.
To sum up: Let's leave Iron Man stuff to Robert Downey Jr. and Joss Whedon.
(H/T Comic Book Resources)