ABC/Nicole WilderSpoiler alert! We're about to dig into the biggest, most jaw-dropping moments from Thursday night's TV. If you haven't yet watched a particular show, and don't want to be spoiled, skip to the next!
Scandal: Let's do this, gladiators: Fresh off of murdering her husband, Sally Langston publically declared that she will be running against President Grant in the next election. However, Sally is refusing to step down as the current Vice President. This fueled Fitz to go into full on, drink in the middle of the day, panic mode and he quickly named California Governor, Andrew Nichols, as his new running mate. (Against Olivia's gut instinct!) Here's the twist: 12 year ago, Andrew and Mellie had some kind of a thing and he has been lusting after her ever since!
Quinn was off acting the perfect power-tool-loving girlfriend with Charlie, and even assisted him in kidnapping a coroner's kid. How romantic. Meanwhile, Abby's hair looked fabulous all episode, and Harrison got a booty call from the past when Homeland's Nazanin Boniadi showed up, unannounced at OPA, and they screwed on his desk. James, who revealed that he truly despises his husband, has been leaking info about the Daniel Douglas Langston murder cover-up to the press, and has bugged Cyrus' office in order to feed details to David Rosen.
As for our fearless leader? Olivia received a bone-chilling threat from her father to run and hide because he is determined to get back at Fitz (i.e. kill him) for kicking him out of B613. And in a happy shipper moment for all you Jake-lovers out there, Olivia decided to name Mr. Ballard as her new fake-boyfriend so that the press would stop speculating that she was still Fitz's mistress.
Reign: We need to blurt this out: Francis and Lola (the first lady from Narnia) hooked up! After successfully helping Lola pay her brother's debts, and getting her out of an extremely uncomfortable situation, Francis and Mary's wardrobe-loving bestie tried to use sex as a way to fill their emptiness inside. As Gretchen Weiners' would say, "Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that's just like the rules of feminism." Sorry, Lola, but you can't sit with us anymore.
In other shocking news, Mary killed Clarissa. With a rock! Clarissa, in a desperate attempt to stand up to the mother that always shunned her, was threatening to slit young Prince Charles' throat. So Mary, regretfully, did what was necessary to save the young boys, whom she swore to protect. Desperate to know what kind of royal behavior (or lack thereof) is coming next?! We've got the ridiculously epic exclusive promo for "Consummation," right here! Trust us, you're going to want to watch it over and over again!
Grey's Anatomy: Let's quickly clear up that matrimonial cliffhanger, shall we? While standing in her wedding dress, about to marry Matthew, someone that many would consider to be the man of their dreams, April chose to literally leave her fiancé at the alter and picked to leave with Jackson. After a brief moment of panic, April and Jackson decided not to waste that gorgeous wedding gown and they got married that night! However, the newlyweds have been keeping their marital bliss a secret from everyone else in the hospital.
Unfortunately Jackson's ex-girlfriend, was mighty pissed that her former beau professed his love for someone else, while she was sitting right next to him. Hell hath no furry like an intern scorned! She lodged a formal complaint claiming that the doctors treat the hospital like its their own personal dating pool and it's got to stop. (Um… no it doesn't, it's why we love the show!) Nevertheless, Owen urged the board to vote to instate a rule: All relationships between coworkers is forbidden (except for previously married couples.) Nooooo!
The Vampire Diaries: Once again, Katherine tried every trick in the book on order to win back Stefan's affections, (she even got a few kisses!) but once she tried to pit the two Salvatore brothers against each other, her true identity was revealed. (But she doesn't know, that they know!)
In addition, Operation: Save Matty Blue Eyes was in full swing on tonight's TVD and we definitely think that Caroline is the vampire version of Nancy Drew. Not only did she see right through Matt and Nadia's fake hookup, but she and Tyler battled Nadia and saved our favorite busboy from harm. Tyler also used his deadly hybrid fangs to bite Nadia so it's only a matter of time before she dies...
Line of the Night: "You didn't have a personality. You just had some shows you liked." Thank you, Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory, for reminding us that our addiction to TV does not entirely define who we are. Psshhh, who are we kidding?! Yes they do.
GIF of the Night: It's Ben and Leslie's anniversary!! And once again, these two lovebirds proved that we should all try to be in a relationship exactly like theirs.
Exhibit A: Ben's Gift to Leslie
Exhibit B: Leslie's Gift to Ben
In conclusion, we're probably all going to die alone because the two most perfect people in the world have already found each other.