The Winter Olympics are over. The ceremonies that were opened have been closed. We hope you enjoyed them, because it will be four years until we all meet back up to watch the world's top athletes play in the snow. In the meantime, there are the Summer Olympics in Rio in 2016, if you're into that.
But let's be honest: The Winter Olympics are the better Olympics.
Since we know you people just loooooove your Summer Olympics, let us explain why you are wrong. Don't feel bad about it either; plenty of people don't know the Summer Games are the inferior of the two.
[A note: This argument is for the Games themselves, not necessarily this year's Olympics in Sochi compared to, say, the Summer Olympics in London. For the sake of this particular debate, ignore the politics and drama of Russia. But just for this debate. Beyond that, let's agree to continue to keep a collective eye on crimes against humanity and an open conversation about human rights, yeah?]
The Summer Olympics are hard. The Winter Olympics are insane.
Competition is stiff at both Games, given that each athlete is theoretically the best of the best in their particular field, but at the Winter Olympics, there's the added element that every sport is insanely dangerous.
The Winter Olympics take something that is challenging on its own (say, gymnastics) and adds ice. Tell us: what's more challenging? Doing a routine on solid group or on a slab of ice and all that's supporting you is a little piece of metal slapped on the bottom of your shoe.
Welcome to figure skating, bitches!
And all the events are crazier. When you're watching the Summer Olympics, most of you have done, or could easily see yourself doing, nearly every sport. Swimming? Yeah, you've been swimming. Running? You can run. Not as fast as Usain Bolt, but you can run.
The Winter Olympics has curling. Have you curled before? And skiing and shooting guns. Yeah. That's a real thing. We're guessing you have never skied and shot a gun before (we have not). The Winter Olympics requires a trip to Wikipedia to learn the rules of half the sports because they so crazy. But that's what we look for in the Olympics: Incredible feats we could never do.
A few final points: The Winter Olympics has the most fun rivalry in our humble opinion (U.S. vs. Canada, our friendly neighbor to the North, in hockey—the Summer Olympics is more or less everyone vs. everyone else). The Winter Olympics are less overwhelming, because there are fewer events. Which also means the Winter Olympics are shorter, so you can return to your regularly schedule life faster.
Plus: Johnny Weir.
Tune in! Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski will be on Chelsea Lately this Wednesday!