Think about one time where you wanted a candy bar so badly and so desperately that you were willing to do awful, crazy things to get one. We're talking selling your first born child, shaving your head and/or agreeing to watch nothing but Two and a Half Men reruns for the rest of your life. Think about that moment.
OK, now forget about it, because you still did not want a candy bar as much as this guy in Iowa did.
Robert McKevitt wanted a Twix bar, because who doesn't? So when he was on a break from his shift at Polaris Industries, he decided to visit one of the greatest inventions ever to come into the workplace since the secretarial typing pool: the vending machine.
It started out fine. He deposited a dollar to get a Twix bar for 90 cents (remember when things used to be 50 cents?) and then the unthinkable happened. The candy bar got stuck in those stupid little spiral hooks. OK, no big deal to the 27-year-old guy. He just put in another dollar. But still, nothing happened. So Robert did what most normal people do.
He banged on the glass. Then he ignored the warning stickers that are on every vending machine and tried to rock it back and forth. Still that Twix bar mocked him from its unbudging-place on the hook. This is where his story veers off the course of a normal human being who is frustrated with a vending machine. However, anyone who's been pissed off at those things would love to do what Robert did next.
He walked away and came back with…an 8,000 pound forklift.
Yeah, s--t just got real, Twix bar.
He reportedly drove up to the vending machine and lifted it two feet off the ground, and then let it drop to the floor. He supposedly did this five or six times until not one, not two but three candy bars had fallen to the bottom of the machine. Score! Three Twix bars! And it only cost him…his job.
Turns out his manager did not appreciate the fact that Robert, who reportedly served in Afghanistan with the Iowa National Guard in 2011, used a forklift in that capacity. When his supervisor confronted him, Robert allegedly said that he was only trying to get the snack he rightfully paid for. And according to Robert, he didn't lift and drop the machine. He was only using the forklift to put it back against the wall after he had rocked it back and forth.
But he was let go anyway.
But do you want to know the worst part? Besides, you know, the whole losing-your-job-over-a-candy-bar thing? They replaced the havoc-wreaking vending machine after he was gone!
"That machine was trouble," he told The Des Moines Register. "They fired me, and now I hear they have all new vending machines there."
We salute you, Robert, and your quest to get a Twix bar at all costs.