Getty ImagesValentine's Day is tomorrow! If you're single, that's OK. Someone will eventually love you. (Probably. Maybe). If you're in a relationship, you'd better have something to give your significant other. If she/he told you that you guys don't need to celebrate Valentine's Day because "we celebrate our love every day," that person is lying and wants something.
So, are you going into tomorrow emptyhanded? No problem, we've got your official guide to last minute V-Day gifts. Pick the best ones, not the worst. That should've been obvious but you never know with people who go to E! Online for gift ideas…
Anyway, here's our list of the best and worst last-minute gift ideas for your Valentine:
Best Last Minute Gifts:
1. Flowers: Lazy, but acceptable.
2.Chocolates: Ditto, but a bit better than flowers because you can eat this gift. Unless the person you date is into eating flowers in which case it might be time for a breakup.
3. Jewelry: When we say "jewelry," we don't mean the plastic rings you get out of that sad-looking machine near the checkout lines at your local grocery store. Step up your game a bit and go to Target or something and find a piece of jewelry that has a heart or the word "love" on it. Spend over 20 bucks. Done.
4. Diamonds: Want to impress your significant other? Diamonds tell them that you aren't the most creative person, but at least you have enough money to buy them diamonds. They'll appreciate that.
5. A Kitten or Puppy: Did you clear it with them that they actually want a pet? Too bad. Once you show them a fluffy kitten or an adorable puppy, they'll forget all about the fact that they might not want the responsibility because look how cute its little nose is! Pretty soon their Instagram will be full of pictures of their new pet, and it's all because of you. They will almost definitely love their animal more than you, but at least you were the one who introduced them to the love of their life.
6. Mixed CD: This gift works especially well if your lover is a sucker for sappy crap. Just put a bunch of love songs on a CD and talk about how each song reminds you of their eyes, their laugh, etc. Please listen to the mix you made before handing it over, lest you accidentally put Puddle of Mudd's "She F--king Hates Me" instead of a generic John Mayer song. On a related note, what's Puddle of Mudd up to these days?
7. Amazon Gift Card: Another lazy gift, but at least it's an awesome one! You can get whatever the hell you want off Amazon!
Worst Last Minute Gifts:
1. Sex Coupons: Nobody wants these, even if you are willing to perform the duties listed on the coupons. Same goes for the coupons that say stuff like "I'll let you pick the movie we're watching on Netflix." You should be letting your boyfriend/girlfriend do that anyway (at least every once in a while), so this type of coupon only highlights how much you fail at being a significant other.
2. Giant Stuffed Animals: What the hell are we supposed to do with this thing? And now our cat won't come out from under the bed because they're dead certain that the giant stuffed panda bear is out for blood.
3. Dinner at a Romantic Restaurant: The last place you want to go to is a fancy restaurant on the evening of Valentine's Day. It's crowded and it will have a menu with jacked-up prices because it's a "special Valentine's Day menu." Cooking them dinner at home is better. It shows more effort and you don't have to wear pants. Win-win.
4. "The Best Sex of Your Life": LMAO.
5. A Card: This screams "I just remembered Valentine's Day, so I swung by Walgreens on the way home and got this card that has a rhyming poem about soul mates and destiny. You're welcome." If you are buying a card, at least write something meaningful in it. Don't just sign your name at the bottom, for cupid's sake.
6. An STD: That's just rude.
Happy Valentine's Day, suckers!