Jimmy Fallon will be back on TV in a week, so there's no need to miss him too much, but he still had a show to say goodbye to on Friday.
"I can't believe it, this is it! It's our last episode of Late Night," the vibrant funnyman, who starts his gig as the sixth-ever host of The Tonight Show on Feb. 17, kicked off his final Late Night With Jimmy Fallon monologue. "You know, I'm really going to miss being on TV at 12:37. I'll especially miss the battle for late night ratings with my fierce rivals—Craig Ferguson and a veggie chopper infomercial."
(Let the games begin: At 11:35 p.m., Fallon's competition will include Jimmy Kimmel, David Letterman, Stephen Colbert and the second half of Conan. Seth Meyers will pick up against Ferguson and the veggie chopper on Feb. 24.)
"Yep, tonight is the 969th and final episode of Late Night," Fallon continued. "Or as my dad put it, 'Couldn't make it to a thousand, huh? Quitter.'"
Before Andy Samberg and The Muppets showed up to help the now-veteran host sign off with a fluorish, the he attempted to succinctly wrap up five years of topical, pop-culture-driven comedy in one breath.
"It turns out we've done over 10,000 monologue jokes over the last five years," he revealed. "And in case you missed any of them, the best way I could summarize those jokes is that Joe Biden needed Obamacare after Anthony Weiner texted Justin Bieber a picture of Chris Christie dating a Kardashian on the Jersey Shore—with Rob Ford.
Yup, that about covers it.
He of course got in a few jabs about the just-underway Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, as well.
"There was a massive fireworks display—and that was just when someone tried to plug in a hairdryer at the hotel," Fallon quipped, switching to a Russian accent: "Is not made for normal plug. It is eight-prong plug we use to electrocute and torture people."
"And this was nice," he continued. "A choir with 1,000 children performed in the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics tonight. Of course since it's Russia, it started with one child, then underneath her was a smaller child, then underneath that one was an even smaller child, until finally there were a thousand."
Fallon also got in one final 12:37 p.m. dig at The Donald.
"And finally, here's some local news," he concluded. "Donald Trump said this week that if he were elected governor of New York, that one of the first things he would do is cut taxes by 50 percent. And New Yorkers were like, 'Eh, I'd rather pay taxes.'"
We've heard it all before—but we can't wait to hear more, starting Feb. 17.
(E! Online is a member of the NBCUniversal family.)