Everyone Thinks the Olympics' Polar Bear Mascot Is Terrifying (or Just Really, Really Drunk)

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by John Boone | Fri., Feb. 7, 2014 11:54 AM

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

Sochi kicked off the 2014 Winter Olympics today with an opening ceremony featuring a little girl and her kite, a volcano, floating villages, four snowflakes that opened into Olympic rings (and one that didn't), a bunch of Russians and the games' official mascots: A polar bear, a leopard and a hare.

Though it was the polar bear (which looked browner than any polar bear we've ever seen, so from here on out we will just refer to it as a brown bear, because that's what it was) that left a lasting memory.

Oh and by the way, it moves.

And the brown bear had plenty of people tweeting:

Behold! The Russian bear of oppression! pic.twitter.com/WuEI7T5J6F
? Zumoro (@ZumoroH) February 7, 2014

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A lot of people think he looks drunk and/or super-stoned:

A tipsy Russian bear. #didntseethatcoming #Sochi #vodka pic.twitter.com/NbSTHDqKpH
? Yasmin B. (@_yaz) February 7, 2014

olympic bear looks so high right now. #SochiProblems
? marco cellucci (@marco_cellucci) February 7, 2014

Olympic bear drank too much Vodka. pic.twitter.com/Q4RA8GAavW
? Mike ? Kasprzak (@mikekasprzak) February 7, 2014

Others think he's just terrifying:

Giant russian bear mascot is terrifying
? Greg Bland (@Greg_Bland) February 7, 2014

Oh dear god that 'polar' bear olympic mascot is going to eat our souls! Freaky thing, especially when the mouth moves.
? The Kisuke Saga (@kisuke_kjr) February 7, 2014

Those are 100% the creepiest Olympic mascots I have ever seen. That bear will kill us all... #Sochi2014
? Mandy Kovacs (@MandyVKovacs) February 7, 2014

AHHH the Olympics Russian bear mascot will haunt my dreams forever!
? Shaunna Murphy (@ShaunnaLMurphy) February 7, 2014

Just flicked on the Olympic opening ceremony. First thing I see is some giant, uncanny valley anthropomorphic teddy bear thing. Creepy.
? Adam Harvey (@LGnome) February 7, 2014

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And here are nine things that the Olympic bear mascot looks like:

1. The bear from Miley Cyrus' VMA Performance:

At least Miley Cyrus isn't popping out of that Russian bear's belly to twerk.
? figlet (@figletynewton) February 7, 2014

2. Toronto Mayor Rob Ford:

Is the Olympic bear actually Rob Ford? SN investigates: pic.twitter.com/IVqncUW6EM
? Sean Gentille (@seangentille) February 7, 2014

3. Pedobear:

Pedo bear has arrived at the olympic games.
? Aimée (@aimeefrommars) February 7, 2014

4. Pedobear's Pedobaby:

The #sochi Olympic mascot looks like the lovechild of Mishka the Bear, Doge and a hungover Pedobear. #hadtobesaid
? Maija Haavisto (@DiamonDie) February 7, 2014

5. Yogi Bear:

I didn't know Yogi Bear was making an Olympic appearance... #Mascot #Sochi2014
? Jennifer Mott (@JennnMott) February 7, 2014

6. Ted (from the movie Ted):

What the fuck? The bear from Ted is the Olympic mascot?
? Mookie Alexander (@mookiealexander) February 7, 2014

7. That bear that didn't get a callback for the Country Bear Jamboree:

Olympic mascots look like rejects from #Disneyworld Country Bear Jamboree. That's what $51 Billion gets?! #crap
? Allen Haberberg (@gabbynoonyraffy) February 7, 2014

8. Doge:

The olympic mascot reminds me of something #sochi pic.twitter.com/gaBOyesb5G
? Jessica Elgot (@jessicaelgot) February 7, 2014

9. Snuggles, if he just got out of rehab:

The Olympic bear is like the Snuggles bear if he just got out of rehab.
? Bill (@bflip33) February 7, 2014

Oh, and then there's this:

When the Russian bear rides his mechanical penis, all other satire becomes unnecessary. #OpeningCeremony http://t.co/j5SShp8tIC
? Lawrence Miles (@Lawrence_Miles) February 7, 2014

Happy opening ceremony! Hope you enjoyed Russia' giant mechanical penis!

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