17 Unanswered Questions From the 2014 Golden Globes

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were the hosts with the most, but we still have so many questions

By John Boone Jan 13, 2014 7:22 PMTags
Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Golden Globe AwardsPaul Drinkwater/NBC

Last night, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler returned to host the Golden Globe Awards and the show was Tina Feytastic and Amy Poehlererfect. Because at this point, we all know award shows are going to be long and sometimes boring, so it's all relative. And they were relatively amazing.

But as the credits rolled and after parties commenced, we realized we have so many questions.

Like...

1. Can Amy Poehler and Tina Fey host every award show ever?

(TBD, but they are hosting the Golden Globes again next year. We already know that.)

2. So, uh, what's going on with Jacqueline Bisset? And is she still giving her speech somewhere?

3. Is the "S-Bomb" the new "F-Bomb"?

And who got fired for letting Jacqueline Bisset say "sh-t" on live TV.

4. Who IS Randy's father? It's Justin Bieber, isn't it?

5. Will Amy Adams' daughter bring about world peace?

If she can get award show producers to stop playing people off with music, that girl can do anything. This is our savior, people.

6. OK, this is a question we're asking in all seriousness: How hard is it to go off-prompter? There are rehearsals for these types of award shows, so Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie weren't completely flying blind. Plus, they were talking about their own movie.

It's just a question. And at least they didn't Michael Bay it?

7. Paula Patton seemed perfectly composed at last night's Golden Globes. Which just makes us wonder even more, what was up with Paula Patton at the BET Awards last year?!

8. What was up with P.Diddy at last night's Golden Globes?!

9. And why didn't Bono want to hug Diddy? Is Bono not a hugger?

Or is something more sinister going on here?

10. What is Orlando Bloom doing with his face? Why is Orlando Bloom doing that with his face?

11. Who was more surprised when Andy Samberg won? Andy Samberg or...everyone else?

But seriously, we're still like, "...What? Brooklyn Nine-Nine?"

12. What did Diane Keaton say when she was bleeped?

And why didn't censors bleep her singing the Girl Scout's Song. It haunts our dreams

13. Is Amber Heard dressing Johnny Depp as her favorite member of 98 Degrees?

14. Is Emma Stone dressing herself as her favorite American Girl doll?

15. What would it feel like to be in the middle of a Bradley Cooper-Leonardo DiCaprio hug?

Does it feel like heaven?

16. Hey Emma Thompson, can we buy you a drink?

17. Could Gwyneth Paltrow have been any more bored during the whole thing?

Oh wait, we can answer this one: No. No, she could not.