Tonight is the booziest award show of the year aka The Golden Globes. If you're watching, you should be drinking too! And if you really want to feel like a star, don't eat anything beforehand.
Stars, they're just like us! They get s--tfaced!
Take A Sip:
Every time someone namedrops Oprah.
Every time a winner uses a piece of paper to remember who to thank in their acceptance speech.
Every time the camera pans to Taylor Swift .
Take Two Sips:
Every time someone makes a joke about Amy Poehler losing.
Every time there is a political joke or commentary (Obamacare, Chris Christie, etc. etc.)
If anyone mentions Amy Adams' boobs in American Hustle.
Take Three Sips:
Every time Leonardo DiCaprio looks disappointed.
If Sofia Vergara forgets the English word for something and you think to yourself that she might be faking it.
Every time the camera cuts to someone who looks grumpy/bored/like Tommy Lee Jones.
Take a Shot:
If Jennifer Lawrence quotes a movie during her acceptance speech.
If Tina Fey and Amy Poehler discuss their feud with Taylor Swift. Do two (2) shots if Tina Fey and Amy Poehler diss Taylor Swift...again.
If Taylor Swift looks surprised (about anything).
If anyone makes a joke about Lena Dunham being naked. Boooo! Too easy!
Whenever the camera cuts to someone who just lost an award, for the entire time that loser is onscreen.
Whenever they use music to play someone off, for as long as that person keeps talking over the music.
Jennifer Lawrence trips.
WARNING: Stop drinking before you get Glenn Close drunk.