Let us set the scene for you: The year is 2013. Tina Fey, popular sitcom actress from such series as 30 Rock, and Amy Poehler, noted thespian from the Criterion Collection classic Baby Mama, are hosting the 70th annual Golden Globe Awards.
During one bit, the duo singled out Taylor Swift , she of seemingly endless boyfriends, and Fey joked, "You know what, Taylor Swift, you stay away from Michael J. Fox's son," then continued, "She needs some ‘Me Time' to learn about herself."
T.Swift, Guardian of the Light and Dark and Girl Who Only Had Two Boyfriends in 2010, decided upon a suitable punishment for this heinous crime against humanity: "Katie Couric [said] to me she had heard a quote that she loved that said, ‘There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.'"
And now she's back to collect their souls*.
(*Taylor will actually return to the 2014 Golden Globes because she was nominated in the "Best Original Song" category for her song "Sweeter Than Fiction." She will compete against songs from such films as The Hunger Games: Catching Fire and Frozen. Good luck, girl!)
How will round two of this feud end? Here is a brief selection of topics that Amy and Tina could possibly poke fun at Taylor for this year, should they choose. Prepare yourself, Taylor.
Something along the lines of Taylor Swift running out of men to date in the United States, so she had to go to England to find that One Direction kid. No country is safe. The United Nations needs to intervene, etc. etc.
Any and all impressions of Taylor Swift dancing at award shows.
How they reacted to Taylor's reaction to their joke. Insert Taylor Swift surprised faces.
A list of other people who may be going to Hell because of Taylor Swift (i.e. the Victoria's Secret Angel who criticized Taylor Swift—Doesn't she know that Taylor Swift is a real angel...of death.)
"You know what, Taylor Swift, you stay away from [name of famous person]'s son."
Hey, it's a classic.
Or maybe they'll just apologize and everybody will move on with their lives (and afterlives)! Tina and Amy are pretty classy ladies and there are plenty of other targets more deserving of a light roasting.
[Note: The reaction GIF above was not Taylor's reaction to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke. Taylor was reportedly in the bathroom at the time. This was her reaction when she lost to Adele, though we assume they would be similar.]