Usually watching professional football means watching athleticism in its finest form. Diving catches. Perfect passes thrown by perfect quarterbacks. Tackles from giant linemen that are basically poetry in motion. Until it snows during a game. Then they just look like grade-A morons. And it's awesome.
During the Detroit Lions-Philadelphia Eagles game on Sunday, these professional football players (i.e., they get paid to play this sport) look like a bunch of bumbling fools due to the heavy snow that made it near impossible to play. It's not their fault that their capabilities became null and void and they looked like second string J.V. players who were just thrown on the field so they can get that participation ribbon. You know how Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) can't stay on his feet for more than three seconds during Catching Fire? Imagine an entire football game like that.
Bask in the glory of NFL players who forgot how to football:
This is what the game looked like. Snow fell hard and it fell fast, and it wasn't magical for anyone.
Least of all for Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford, who constantly looked like a kid whose mother was calling in him from sledding.
If a player hit the ground face first, their helmet got packed with snow. Calvin Johnson had to shake it out like a dog, but we would've just poked out two eye-holes with our fingers and to become a living snow man.
How did DeSean Jackson even see the end zone? Also, a clear missed opportunity to make snow angels for your end zone dance.
But the best part of the game was when the Lions attemped a field goal. But first they had to kick the snow around so they could, you know, actually see a piece of the field. What happened during the kick was Charlie Brown-caliber.
The kicker took his running start, wound up and...boop. The ball was blocked, the kicker fell and a snowball fight ensued. (That last part wasn't true, but wouldn't football be cooler with snowball fights?)
And then this happened in the Ravens-Vikings game. Happy winter, football fans!